The Ballad of the Plastic Freak

I’ve been sitting here so long, My butts getting numb, So I jump right up And stick out my thumb. He comes rolling down the street, With the only smell of mention, The noxious fumes; olfactory tension. Now I’m not trying to make excuses. But I Really needed to get to, Lower Catoosas. This dude with odiferous outlet Was a goin’ my way. If you think that was dumb, Just listen to this: It was a super-charged Edsel With slicks on the rear, It had the characteristic stench of, Cheap, stinkin’ beer. When I jumped in the car He shot me the Bird, And laid on me These immortal words, “Far in man… Like what’s going off?” I was stunned awhile Had to catch my breath, He looked at me with A grin like death. The smell was real, The driver was not. Like a bobble-head doll On the dash installed. I regained my feet, Away from the freak, “Thanks, but I’d rather walk”.