A.E. Rivenbark Poet Ballade

The Ballad of the Internet Troll

Refrain:

Beware ye netizens
of the internet troll
dare not feed it.
just sigh and past it scroll

I
There dwell within the internet
A vile creature with a rash wreath
Who spews their venom
From between their buck teeth

II

"Just ignore it!"
Can we get a moderator before we're overran?
Drive out this message board demon
We'll squash this uprising with a ban!

III
Upon it's mind today
"How canst I grieve them now?
Shall I compare thee
To a mountain goat or a sow?"

Refrain

IV
Victim locked within
the creature's sights
It's piercing taunts
Cause sleepless nights

V
Keyboard warriors
To your stations
Defend your brothers
'Gainst this infestation

Refrain

VI
And what spy we
With our IP tracker?
Be it a troll or
the resident hacker?

VII
But soft! What's that
Here comes the beast!
Quick insult his grammar or
Upon our insecurities he'll feast

Refrain

VII
And one by one
By bullying the forum pest
They beat him back and
Drove him to his cheeto nest

VIII
Now he sulks and pouts
Instead of hurling abuse
Too afraid of the outside
But still armed with excuse

VIIII
Soon! he promises
And rubs his hands together with glee
But his insults are flaccid
And won't hurt a flea

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