The Ballad of Daphne and Jack, the Sequel

Gather 'round me, my dears, I'll continue the tale Of a princess and her pirate lover. Of her crown unencumbered, They pillaged and plundered As they wandered the seven seas over. Crimes maritime were elating And invigorating 'til Jack noticed a bulge in her tummy. The princess first was offended, But then she comprehended He would soon be a dad, she a mommy. Two months later, one morn, Daphne's baby was born, She said, "Time to rethink our position. If we stay here, our child Will grow wicked and wild, We must provide better, milder conditions." Jack's crew were confused When he told them the news, All they knew how to do was be pirates. None of them had a dime, And all too far past their prime To go home and move in with their parents. Jack chuckled and chided, Their fears he derided, And then much to their mirth and enjoyment, He said, "We'll start a new industry That sells hospitality And offers year-round and seasonal employment." Do you remember the king? That mean, stingy old thing Died alone in his big empty palace. But before his reign ended, His will was amended, And Princess Daphne inherited alles. She thought the place would work well As a swanky hotel Or a posh B&B just for pirates. But Mad Jack and his gang Were arraigned and then hanged, They should have kept their retirement more private. And thus, dear ladies and dudes, My narration concludes About Daphne's and Jack's days of glory. She turned her dad's mausoleum Into a pirate museum And made a killing, some say, Conducting tours every day For visitors who'd pay To hear a pirating princess' story.