The Answer Machine

Please leave your message after the tone, though I’ll probably never get back to you.

Paul- Phil here, can you drive a car with three wheels.
Paul- Sheryl, I’m leaving you for a Canadian lumberjack, don’t try and talk me out of it.
Paul- Micky here, that bird Tasmin you hooked me up with, she wants to try the buddha position, what the hell is it.
Paul- Phil, I’ve been arrested,fecking fifty quid in the licence, you dickhead.
Paul- Sheryl, you would just let me go off with a Lumberjack, you bastard.
Mr Bell, do you know you’re entitled to five thousand pounds for that accident you had three years ago. Phone us.
Paul- Linda here, I’ve left Tony, can I crash at yours for a few days.
Paul,-Nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, just an update from the doctor, he’s still in two minds.
Paul,- Phil here, can you come and bail me out.
Paul--Sheryl, I’ve dumped the Lumberjack, going out with Hans now, my soul mate.
Paul- Tracy down at the STD clinic, your tests are clear, and no, I don’t want to celebrate with you.
Paul-  Micky, that Tamsin's a guy, what the hell is wrong with you.
Paul- Phil, are you coming or what.
Paul- Linda, We’re going to give it another go.
Paul, -Sheryl here, I’m giving you one more chance, I could have my pick of  guys, why the hell I picked you god only knows, I’m coming round now.
Paul-This is the sunshine holiday retreat company, your immediate sabbatical is now ready when you are.
Paul, nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, is the doctor at yours.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

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Puddifoot Avatar
November 3, 2024 at 7:22 AM
i don't have this particular problem since i don't possess an answer machine, just a 70s style wired landline lol oh and an old nokia circa 2003...but somehow they still manage to find me and bug me
Bell Avatar
November 3, 2024 at 10:34 AM
The little Nokia. That was a great phone. Now I carry something that's bigger than the old phone book.
Rodrigues Avatar
November 2, 2024 at 3:14 PM
Oh that you would have more encouraging messages. Still! this is humorous.
Bell Avatar
November 3, 2024 at 1:51 AM
You don't want too much encouragement, people phone you and want more.
Empress Avatar
November 2, 2024 at 6:05 AM
Dear Paul, i love reading your poems, you always write in a way that makes me smile, i would say laugh too little bit! But its a good thing, compliment really! The first line made me laugh! Hah. I am one of them. Just leave a message probably never will respond. Love this! Thank you for a fun read.
Bell Avatar
November 3, 2024 at 1:50 AM
You need a laugh in all the chaos out there. lol
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