The Amber Eye of Tomorrow

It was just a silhouette but it reminds me why I left the spirit box closed I felt as though the hand I was holding Was yours and not my own In my want to believe But reality hit me like a train I didnt see through the tunnel What happened to my motivational speaker of rationality? Appearing like a father but acting like a child When I’m jealous of a person I don’t even want to be Throwing my fists in anger Are still the same hands that built these walls not that long ago And writing it out until my wrists cramp Unlike now, didn’t work back then And only left smudges of messages I wasn’t brave enough to transmit from a time that I was happiest and didn't even know it It's blurry but I thought I saw the motion of your flowing dress saying goodbye, In my want to believe I strive to be unique but sometimes I wished I was poisoned with another The idea of hell seems so much better Knowing we’d all be in it together But I’m picking a new struggle to flaunt This redemption ark is over Why do I act like this When I’m jealous of a person I don’t even want? I thought I saw you pacing the floor with your tight pants And cheekbones sharper than my pencil tips I thought I lost you in the world collapsing But I heard your S.O.S drowning in the distress through my want to believe This is a connection worth rectifying Manufacturing ashes from a spark, now dying But this was a blessing best at disguising And I am the only compromise between the red and the white on my shoulders I am the bridge between growing bigger and feeling older But the playlists that used to beat a pulse so somber, Are now the ones that I wrap my heart strings around, so tightly knit from a time that I was happiest and didn't even know it You're a whiny fuse and I refuse to blow it You're telling all the nomads to go home It's a parade but anchors don't float A weight on my chest is what you do the best I'm feeding the little vampires looking for trouble with every breath They're telling me to rectify this That if cavemen could find a spark then I can too But you know it's true I would walk around like I owned the place But you owned me and you knew it Your hair pulled back and so formidable, Making even my firmest set boundaries seem invisible They're not journal entries, They're scarlet letters I wasn't brave enough to wear You steal the show even when you’re not there I sacrificed self-control when I felt the strongest From a time that I was happiest and didn't even know it The street lights used to tempt me but now they only threaten me I lost the plot and the book only thickens The looks you gave me killed me faster every time I forfeited sight for not knowing where my body is hidden But no one believes I saw a glimpse of my past self In the neighborhood I grew up in Never in a memory but always in day dream My mind is a bridge between moving further and maturing quicker You are the garden everyone wants to pick from With shoulders back to let us know you're not taking from anyone My time is over, now you're stealing the show I’m the archer hanging up his bow, A police chief leaving his most tempting files closed You're a winning lottery ticket no one paid attention to! And i'm a secret written through mirror fog that's asking to be exposed But I paid attention to you, I always have and always will I've always gotten more than I should out of this Everyone else is picking from your garden but I'm the one who planted it