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The Fangs' Return

THE FANGS’ RETURN once steeped, drowned in raw happiness, yesterdays were as fangless dogs. today was half a loaf better, and then there was blackness and clay heavy steps of my own, down.

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Debbie Guzzi

Date: 10/22/2010 6:21:00 PM

I liked the rawness of the imagery but feel it reads unfinished OR mistitled I would not use the title to expand the scope of the verse. the verse should stand on it's own TO ME without the title. It makes one think what is better than happiness? half better? perhaps you mean today is a half loaf less..then the graying to black would begin? at the last word the FANG appears BUt only because you told is in the title. perhaps better to end with "down to a new bitch"