Jan Allison Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

That's Why I Love Farting - a Gut Wrenching Poem

 I’ve perfected the art
Of withholding a fart
I tighten my buttocks and clench
But when no one is the vicinity
I let rip with a dreadful stench

A silent secret fart released in a confined place
To some folks I guess it’s an utter disgrace
If I fart in a lift
To me it’s a gift
I can leave and I’ll not be red in the face!

If a fart is dropped in our house
I secretly wish we had a dog
I could toot with the noise of a bullfrog
but I would have someone else to blame
and could then say poor Fido’s name!

Contest That’s why I love …. Sponsor Lewis Raynes

A fictional write (well I have to say that don’t I … and I don’t have a dog lol)
First stanza is taken from my poem ‘the art of farting

06~05~16

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Maurice Rigoler June 8, 2016 at 10:09 PM Jan, I've made you Poetry Soup's unofficial Queen of Flatulence! What would humor be without it? As for my Transgender poem, I think the whole matter is ridiculous. Sounds more like these people only want to bring attention to themselves. BTW congratulations on your win. Thanks for the stop by. / M Jan Allison June 9, 2016 at 7:58 AM I'm the Queen of poop on soup Maurice lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Balveen Cheema June 7, 2016 at 9:51 AM Oh God Jan! So that's the story of a fart! Lol or Congrats? Well, let it be both! Jan Allison June 7, 2016 at 1:58 PM LOL Thanks Balveen:-) hugs jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong June 6, 2016 at 11:55 PM This is so true Jan. I had to laugh about an incident that happened to me today. When my husband gives our granddaughter apple juice it makes her gassy. Well she went with me to the lab today where I had blood drawn and I could smell her. I will bet anything the technician thought it was me. If I had said anything he would have thought I was just blaming my sweet g.daughter. lol congrats on your win with this clever piece! ; ) Jan Allison June 7, 2016 at 1:58 PM Oh Connie your story made me smile:-) hugs jan xx

Jean Murray June 6, 2016 at 4:07 PM I heard a story as a student nurse about an elderly patient smoking in a small toilet. As he got up to leave, he tossed the cigarette in the toilet ,just as he farted, yet again. There was an almighty explosion. well done Jan. Jan Allison June 7, 2016 at 1:57 PM Ha ha ha Jean:-) hugs Jan xx

CayCay Godwin June 5, 2016 at 7:01 PM Oh, girl you went there, yes you did! My family has always laughed at the 'kick the dog' thing, poor dog. You amaze me in a way that is refreshing and humorous; there is no other Jan. For once, a good poem that actually blows ... CayCay (I HAD to read this to Tim who is responsible for all the squeaky floors in our home.) Jan Allison June 6, 2016 at 11:54 AM Forgot to say CayCay - you're a gas lol:-) hugs Jan xx Jan Allison June 6, 2016 at 11:46 AM I'm SO relieved i didn't go with my other option which was 'why i love watching kids pick their nose ' lol:-) hugs jan xx CayCay Godwin June 6, 2016 at 10:42 AM I hope you didn't get any on you (I could volley this way all day.) Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 7:10 PM ha ha ha at squeaky floors lol - Oh CayCay i have tried so hard not to write farty poems recently but this one just slipped out lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Timothy Hicks June 5, 2016 at 5:45 PM Having had personal experience with the "noise of a bullfrog", I must say that would be a VERY intense fart. You'd have to get some new trousers, methinks ;) Oh and BIG congrats on your Owl See You poem ... so awesome to hear! Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 5:50 PM ha ha ha love that comment Timothy and as for Owl see you I think its finally sinking in about my success in its forthcoming publication:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Hauser June 5, 2016 at 5:05 PM hahaha! You are too funny! Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 5:49 PM LOl thanks Mike - I know some don't appreciate my humour but hey ho there is room on soup for us all:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich June 5, 2016 at 4:20 PM haha, Fictional was the best part!!! Truly a GREAT humorous write, my friend. Here is a really funny one. There was a guy waiting for an interview and he was in a small space waiting. The guy next to him farted and then got up to leave. At that exact moment when the other guy left, the interviewer came to get the poor guy left looking like the farter. This story was told to me by an ESL student in a paper I had them write: My most embarrassing moment. Oh, it was funniest thing I ever heard. Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 4:27 PM Oh how embarrassing - you need to read my 'Lettuce pray' one of my very early writes which is to do with farting in a way lol - that was my embarrassing moment lol:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich June 5, 2016 at 4:20 PM Hope you get a win. I doubt I will this time. Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 4:24 PM I write for the contests for fun Andrea and certainly don't enter all of them - a win is a bonus and means greater exposure if we get on the winners list but to me the joy is actually writing :-) hugs Jan xx

Cheryl Hoffman June 5, 2016 at 3:41 PM Ha, ha that was a good, funny, farty poem you wrote there Jan! Its funny that when people fart the dog gets the blame, poor Fido!:) Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 3:44 PM I wish we had a dog Cheryl lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Miraj Raha June 5, 2016 at 12:28 PM LOL!!! everybody could relate to this Jan. Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 1:13 PM LOL Miraj just a fun write for the contest:-) hugs jan xx

Tim Smith June 5, 2016 at 10:31 AM Lol....too funny Jan Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 10:40 AM Thanks Tim I just needed to smile today:-( hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso June 5, 2016 at 10:11 AM LOL so funny, anyone reading this has to laugh, well unless they reading this in an elevator!!! :) Hugs! Jan Allison June 5, 2016 at 10:14 AM ha ha ha - I found the image of the gas masks - what a fabulous idea ... problem sorted lol :-) still work in progress I want to refine the final stanza but had to post it - its been a tough day sad on the Island and I needed a giggle:-(hugs Jan xx