That Was Not a Compliment

Certain appearances make me question our fufillmentship I’d bet my life that I’d find more comfort in a rock bottom Than in you Your mood swings are my fill of thrills for the whole year I don’t talk crap, I just tell it how it is If you did nothing wrong, than you have no reason to fear So did you? Well that's what we talk about when you’re not around That's what we talk about! When did resting become so exhausting? It’s a mountain that we climb Just for the view to be splintered into a thousand blurry cotton lines Are those half-erased storm clouds Or my suicide note in the sky? For what it’s worth, My notion of time telling is what new corruption are we discussing today? I’m scared to heal from the things I’ve relied on since my hire date He whispered but he might as well have screamed Prolonging the pain like peeling skin off of blisters It’s an ever-twisting knife to see him disappointed No traces of any pieces of a heart, recently fractured You’d have better luck smashing diamonds You own folders full of legal notes but what commitments are you binding? Your mind is a swamp of both creative and dilapidated ideas It's a lost and found without the finding You say you have a hat full of threats to throw But I’ve seen hospice patients more inspiring Well that's what we talk about when you're not around You’re a mountain that I climb Just for the view to be second guessed By the affliction warden with perfected sets of analytical eyes And there's no spinning this Like bottles pointing and kissing crushes just to say we're no longer innocent And the bottom of glasses is where say you found your alleged happiness But I wasn't lying when I said I’d do anything to get you out of this If I'm not something to live for, Than you weren't reading in between the lines of a nobel prize winner of making sure And there's no shame in finding comfort hiding in the depths of a rock bottom Seasonal depressions kicking in but this is just how you feel Cause it's not even autumn At least the magnetic force between me and the floor Is keeping me warm and ready for winter But i’m not dead, just afraid to move And my cries for help will soon fade into soft, solivagant whimpers If you crawled away, You can crawl back If you crawled away, You can crawl back Well I’m scared I’m scared to heal from the things that make me who I am Mesmerized by an alarm clock, endlessly beeping But we won’t know if it’s closer to ending than beginning Staring at the machine that onced silenced her One of the last and only things she told me, It’s never too late to heal from open wounds that you’ve ignored Laying still with my misinterpreted whispers But I’m not dead, just afraid to move And I keep feeding God handfuls of my actions to disapprove If you crawled away, You can crawl back If you crawled away, You can crawl back to me Is that the light of your phone flashlight or the light I think I’m headed to?