temet nosce

“I have dreamed a dream … and my spirit was troubled to know the dream.” (Daniel 2:3) ~ TEMET NOSCE that place … I know it not - now, then or ever the darkness that dwells there harbors a beast that I dare not acknowledge or tempt - that leaps in an instant to a parody of rage, and a character of revulsion … from man to monster in the blink of lashes disconnected and beyond the sway of common sense or even lucidity … I recognize it only for its unparalleled ire and stark, unrelenting savagery a thick, black, oily realm of mad monstrosities that spring from the depths to devour without conscience or care in undiluted iniquity I have … no understanding of it - oh, I have wondered endlessly about its source, its meaning, its origin but answers are light years apart from the reach of my emotional grasp it is not mine it is not id or of any clear cognition it is not borne of anything I recognize or see it is as foreign to me as death itself and years of examination have not brought the brute any closer to the realm of Me … I despise its hideous face its mirrored gaze it’s fetid flesh and its deceitful, ragged fury and yet … what unnerves me most - what brings the cold damp to my skin and the horrid shudder to my spine is that it hides - desperate for breath and bite, unknown and unbidden (and horridly alive) in the chaotic, darkened depths of a sweet, sanguine soul … my own.