Home » Poems » Lin Lane » Tears At Midnight: a Monorhyme

Tears At Midnight: a Monorhyme

Faithful in troth's plight, I wait for my knight Bridal gown of white stained as tears alight Still no groom in sight at strokes of midnight Fireflies take to flight in pale candlelight I glean no delight in their glow tonight In sallow moonlight my heart grows contrite April 28th, 2017 John Hamilton's Monorhyme

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Joseph May

Date: 4/30/2017 4:47:00 PM

Congrats on your win Lin

Lin Lane
Date: 4/30/2017 7:06:00 PM

Thank you, Joseph, and I see larger congrats go to you.

Paul Callus

Date: 4/30/2017 2:32:00 PM

How sad! What a letdown for the bride in white! A monorhyme with internal rhyme is never going to be easy, Lin, but you certainly rose to the occasion! Best regards // paul

Lin Lane
Date: 4/30/2017 2:35:00 PM

Thank you, Paul, however my rhymes were not difficult enough to score higher with the judge. hmmm A 3rd place went to rhymes of fly, sky, why, cry. Why cry indeed...lol I appreciate your encouragement, as always.

John Hamilton

Date: 4/30/2017 2:20:00 PM

Great entry Lin I really enjoy your use of not often used words "sallow" for example. Next time maybe try a rhyme with a little more difficulty, 6 words using light brought score down a little, but I enjoyed it anyway!

Lin Lane
Date: 4/30/2017 2:40:00 PM

thanks, John

Eve Roper

Date: 4/29/2017 6:36:00 PM

Very beautiful, Lin,,~* a 7

Lin Lane
Date: 4/29/2017 10:48:00 PM

Thank you very much, Eve.

Tim Smith

Date: 4/29/2017 8:52:00 AM

It is well before midnight Lin... terrific poem

Lin Lane
Date: 4/29/2017 10:48:00 PM

I've buried my clocks. Thank you, Tim.

Joanna Daniel

Date: 4/29/2017 8:04:00 AM

This can be a terribly sad situation to be in, Lin, and you have brought out the sadness well:) hope to see this place high:) a 7:)

Lin Lane
Date: 4/30/2017 11:59:00 AM

Thanks ever so much for your comments and well wishes, Jo.

Darren White

Date: 4/29/2017 12:26:00 AM

Glad to read it is fiction, but still, incredibly good and equally sad! Good luck in the contest.

Lin Lane
Date: 4/30/2017 11:58:00 AM

Thanks so very much, Darren.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/28/2017 8:58:00 PM

this is one of the better ones I have seen Lin. Love it! I have to hurry so fast and think something up for this contest!!!

Lin Lane
Date: 4/28/2017 11:19:00 PM

Thank you very much, Andrea. I'm sure you'll come up with something fantastic.

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 4/28/2017 7:40:00 PM

Such a sad one, Lin! GL on contest!

Lin Lane
Date: 4/28/2017 8:39:00 PM

Thanks ever so much for the comments and well wishes, Kim.

Glen Schwartz

Date: 4/28/2017 7:13:00 PM

Great Write !! I can feel the pain within ..

Lin Lane
Date: 4/28/2017 7:15:00 PM

Hello, Glen, and thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Jan Allison

Date: 4/28/2017 7:09:00 PM

aww so sad a rhyme Lin In the past I have written poems on a similar subject but thankfully its a fiction write for me - it must be hard to deal with being jilted at the altar:-( hugs Jan x

Lin Lane
Date: 4/28/2017 7:12:00 PM

I can only imagine how terrible that would be. Fiction here, too. Thanks, Jan.