Tearful Inside

tearful inside as i crawl through phases of my life's illusion do i feel run over by stress or is it just delusion? why do i think getting ahead serves no purpose next week another calamity will surely surface depression lies deep inside as problems mount caused by relationships, family or bank account my worries run so deep, i can never reveal my dread pessimism surrounds each thought in my pounding head the trepidation i have invades my judging ability which causes me to act with senseless hostility the men in my family possess no external emotions so any allusion of struggle will label me as broken so i will suffer invariably with forced laughter while crying from the inside for now and hereafter