Peter Dome | + Follow Poet |
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Teacher Creatures

I only learned one thing in school
And that was how to fight
The teachers were always so good at it
And they were always right.

One teacher was nicknamed spitfire
Because she'd spit as she spoke
All the teachers wore mortar board hats
And wore long black cloaks.

Always late for lessons
Always got the cane.
School books hidden in your trousers never worked
You had to feel the pain.

One teachers face got so red when he got mad
We only had a riot in class nothing unusual
Didn't think we were that bad.

Our sports teacher used to whack us hard
When we forgot our P,E kir
And make us run through nettles
In bare feet the hurt more than a bit.

In science we always tried to make a bomb
And leave the gas taps on
We'd make pea shooters from biro pens
And when the teachers were facing the blackboard
We'd shoot at them then sit poker faced wasn't me Sir.

We'd hide around building corners
To gamble and smoke a crafty cigarette
Until one day a teacher came around suddenly
With a water jet.

One teacher had an affair with an other teacher
With a very pretty one with nice legs and blonde hair
I used to dream about
In my fantasies she was mine
It just wasn't fair.

I was convinced they were not human
But came from some other planet one day in spaceships
And not cars
Maybe they were from Mars.

We'd put condoms on door handles
Let the teachers tyres down on their car
Sneak into the girls changing room for an eye full
And steal their knickers and their bras
Sing rude words to songs at morning assembly
Throw stink bombs in the teachers lounge
Draw funny pictures in our books  of our teachers with their trousers down. 

Sometimes  I'd be madly in love with a teacher or a girl pupil
And do nothing but day dream all day long
Skipping through fields of sunflowers hand in hand
Kissing like to clams under a tree all day long
Oh I was always in love with someone
And would often burst out in song.

I got good at forging homework diary signatures
Explaining why my homework wasn't done
It was always some far fetched story
Like I was chased by Atilla the Hun.

Ahh school days yes we were nothing more than savages
But the teachers were savages too
They should have changed the name school
To Human Zoo.

''I was a good boy I was''.
 

Peter Dome. Copyright.2015. June.

Copyright © Peter Dome | Year Posted 2015

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Afolabi Muideen Date: 6/1/2015 10:43:00 AM WoW!!!!!! For student school is like having fun, lol it all happening in all schools.....excellent work for this fabulous write Peter.......it picture is vividly clear, it is like happening as am reading it...........7!..............A M. Login to Reply Peter Dome Date: 6/1/2015 12:17:00 PM Thank you so much. I thought our school was unique but perhaps not. So glad you enjoyed it. always a real pleasure to hear from you. take good care. best wishes. Pete.

Jan Allison Date: 6/1/2015 6:59:00 AM great imagery Peter made me laugh out loud - I work in a school and surprise surprise it is no different in fact it is worse than I ever remember it - one class I work in I call 'the zoo' as the behaviour of some is so bad ... thankfully they left 3 weeks ago - woohooo lol:-) hugs Jan xx Login to Reply Peter Dome Date: 6/1/2015 1:38:00 PM I often see toddlers being naughty in public. and the parent telling them off, but the child carry's on. the parent soon loses it and shouts or hits them or threatens too. who is in control?. also children running away, parents too busy on cell phones or too busy talking to someone,. I have had to rescue the child or tell the parent. how shocking Jan. Pete. Jan Allison Date: 6/1/2015 1:35:00 PM If you thought it was bad when we were at school - you should see it now - of course we had discipline - i was scared of my teachers, i respected them - it is so so different now and will not get better unless society and attitudes change:-( hugs jan xx Peter Dome Date: 6/1/2015 1:32:00 PM Thanks Jan. no child or adult is perfect. but I think in a lot of cases as you say. parents have a lot to blame for.Parents should take more responsibility. Sometimes I feel kids are brought up as though society has to fit in with them not they in society. Where are the good role models. the morals people used to have. what society sows society reaps like the parents I'm afraid it will get worse. thank you. Pete. Jan Allison Date: 6/1/2015 1:20:00 PM I'm a support assistant not a teacher - I often say to the kids i wish your parents could see you in the classroom - yes would be great to have 'viewing areas' for the parents to see what it is really like - sadly the behaviour of some of the children is often reflected by their parents so it simply would never happen:-( Hugs jan xx Peter Dome Date: 6/1/2015 12:26:00 PM Hi Jan. sorry I forgot you were a teacher creature, but you're nicer than most. glad I made you laugh. I can assure you it wasn't funny at the time. It was like prison without the privileges. I think all schools should become zoos. were parents if they wish, can visit once in a wile and the animals are not let lose to run around you in supermarkets, ans shoot you with bow arrows in the park. what bliss. but that won't solve the teacher problem, next stop Mars.thank you.