Taking Hold of Age

We knew it was coming, didn't we-- and thought it was similar to dying, still think so, but didn't realize it was so stretched out. That dying seems to be taking a while, and I wonder what that means. The only trouble is it's up to me, and I don't like it very much. Treading water just now, seems rather vain. Rationale. That's it. Just don't have the energy anymore to cross new horizons. But it's good for something There's a palette of emotions accumulated, shining on me, flashing at behavior, and when I turn to them, it is as if I hear them reminding me that they've been here all along to serve. They howl; they cry; they feed me wry smiles; they have no mercy on my weakness. Surprise or no it is so. It is a universe my very own; it whirls; lt vibrates; it pleads with me and I am not so mature as to be able to plead with it. Good. There is room to continue on. But, damn, I'm tired. You lead. ~