Home » Poems » J.W. Earnings » Tainted Thrill

Tainted Thrill

Shame on you for trying to kill my thrill
Shut the hell up and be my friend for real
Stop acting so arrogant and such a pill
You know I need your shoulder to lean on…
It’s really no big deal

Caught up in the current of sheer confusion
I was forced to make love with the ugliness inside me 
Rot away the hatred and dread in motion
I don’t look forward to awful revenge, but you’re faith
Needs to belong to me 
I need it now exceedingly

Deliver me from the grave I have laid upon for countless hours…crescent moon glowers…
My dear friend, romance with you was but a simple dance with floating, fleeing flowers
Danger approaches us and the world is overwhelming us all…we, the broken wall
No worries, I got your back; after all, you were there for me when I made my fall 

Shame on you for trying to kill my thrill
Don’t act like you’re someone that you’re not
I know you meant well in what you do, but still…
Can you not be concerned with me – it bothers me a lot
Not that it mattered to you anyways…
Let the water of our despairing woes
Boil in turmoil and spin on the scorching pot…
This strength and satisfaction is what I have fought for 
I seek favor and acceptance in your eyes that I adore

You think you know me completely
Well, think again
You think you cared for me thoughtfully
That, you did and then…
You smacked me with your solitude and such pitiful pain
You raped me with your rue and did it all for glory's gain
I don’t forgive you totally…
But, I will in no time…eventually…

With crystal-clear cheer and consideration,
You handed me helpful hardships of honesty
I handed you my loyalty and dandy dedication
We have outdone the terrible lies of vanity 

Our endearing, elegant eagerness has brought us joy from ear to ear
Because, without our curiosity, creativity would be naught as you can see
It is appearing that you are not aware that I am beaten up with fear
I have been so lost and hopeless without your precious presence with me 

You’ve given me marvelous metamorphosis to the max
I have told you not to worry much and you told me to relax
Sorry, but you pissed me off when you said things right behind my weary back
Things that I have told you in secret and I told you several times not to tell a soul…
Self-control is what you lack…
I want you back without you, 
Carrying your heavy-loaded sack
Hurting your back and legs like you always do 
And I lack extreme motivation and passion in living life to the fullest

I squander my time on constantly pondering on past predicaments 
I wonder if you’ll ever hear me out again and listen for once
I am tired of wrapping my mind around your problematic sentiments
I wander aimlessly into the wasteland with airborne radiance

I love you, 
Despite the drastic difficulties and grief-stricken struggles you forced me to bear with…
I love you,
However, our lives of lament, labor and leisure time is complicated like a long labrinth
I love you…
You know I do…
It is true…
Without you,
I am screwed…
If you reject me,
You are rude
Baby, possibly…
I am just jaded and faded by the dire dilemmas 
That happened in my past of perfections and flaws

Forget it...

And shame on you for trying to kill my thrill…for trying to flatten my tires
By remaining stagnant in your stubbornness
By refusing change and intead, being indulged in your wants and desires
Well, you better pump up my tires that have gone through roads of tribulation
And pump them up with pure positivity in passion-packed progress
Sweep away yesterday's sorrow and soon-to-be tomorrow's mess

More or less, I wish you will give me pleasure beyond measure
Don’t try to ruin my ambitious, awe-inspiring mindset and spirit that works hard to endure
The weight of the world that makes me feel overwhelmed and unsure…
I might feel unwanted and worthless, but I will feel wonderful sooner or later

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