Tainted Thirst
*This poem is based on Type One Diabetes Mellitus, which I have had for 14 years. A
hyperglycaemic attack is when there is far too much sugar in your blood, and it causes
symptoms such as: Dehydration, erratic mood swings as well as intensified emotions,
intoxicated like nature, irrational thoughts and behaviour and impaired senses. If left
untreated the sugar poisons your bloodstream. The treatment for this is to inject insulin.
This poem includes a scenario of contact with a person when under this attack.*
Dry.
An incredible thirst from my stomach to
My mouth; I have
You in my squinting vision,
In my parched
Mind’s eye,
Burrowing under my deranged
Over indulgent heart.
Irritating
From deep within, chunky clumps of saccharine venom pollute my eyes,
Heart, thick tongue, lips,
So cracked
So horribly hot, so
Dry, utterly
Unbearable; I crave something and
You are convenient.
The monster, gorged with my glucose
Saturated blood, growls.
A guttural, phlegm filled noise.
I can hear lights in my raw
Sore, nebulous mind,
I can feel the aftertaste
Of your heartbreak.
Come to me, I’ll shout,
Rant without reason,
Cry steaming sugar, I’ll
Vent my hyperactive monster
Until I can rationalise you,
You meagre morsel whom my
Gluttonous thirst wants to Imbibe.
An excruciating need for you arises,
And in my poor, suffering, poisoned psyche I know, I know
I know that you are no more than an Oasis.
Bite back, relief as bitter medicine can fulfil my thirst,
My dehydration.
The cold clear liquid flowing through my arm, under my skin
Cooling this craving.
Dimming my desire.
Soon the supplementary solution soothes,
And I fall into a regular pattern.
My agony weakening;
The heartbreaking need proving to be a swarm of syrup killer bees;
My monster curling up in the spaces of my honey reserves,
Resting until the next unsteady, unstable
Burst for her awakening.
This illness, this condition, this fault in my system needs to be contained,
Or I fear that this itching insanity will cause me
To indulge in unwanted impulses,
To suffer cruel consequences,
To crack.
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