Symbiosis

We are blighted wards
Sordid, trepidatious scars
Haven's wall too darkly far
Eden's thornbush guards
Caught behind our safety bars
Still, we count the free range stars

4/02/20

For 'Pick a Title - Vol 15 - Sedoka' contest
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
theme: symbiosis
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Ibeh Avatar
April 18, 2020 at 5:16 PM
Fantastic sedoka, Michelle:-) Heartiest congratulations on your win in my contest!
Andresen Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 12:59 PM
- Congratulations on a great winning poem in Edward Ibeh Sedoka contest, Michelle :) - // Anne-Lise :)
Somadas Avatar
April 13, 2020 at 12:35 AM
Great win Michelle.. Congrats..
Hawkens Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 9:52 AM
Congratulations on your win. Your poem is most Beautifully penned. I hope all is well. JC Hawkens
Faulkner Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 11:01 AM
Hope you are well also, thanks for commenting, J.C!
Radhakrishna Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 2:13 AM
Congratulations on your win! Such a nice poem. Had to read a few times to understand it, but once I did the beauty was visual. Well done!
Faulkner Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 11:00 AM
So appreciate your kind comment, thank you!
Warrior Avatar
April 11, 2020 at 10:11 PM
Congrats!! MF...great minds think alike...now I'm going to watch the "Three Stooges" lol...stay safe my friend...best wishes from the Wingster :o)
Faulkner Avatar
April 11, 2020 at 10:21 PM
At least we can connect online! Thank you for your kind comment, WW-
Watt Avatar
April 11, 2020 at 9:21 PM
Beautifully stated, Michelle. Nicely rhymed, powerful words. I like Eden's thornbush best; so much packed into two words. Congrats, my friend ~ John
Watt Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 8:09 PM
Michelle, your reply made me grateful for these kinds of interactions with thoughtful, experienced poets. Thinking about a word and revising it can sometimes mean the different between a good poem and a great poem. That thoughtfulness is evident in your writings and an inspiration to me. Thank you.
Faulkner Avatar
April 11, 2020 at 10:17 PM
Actually, I was originally going to use 'garden' but after tinkering with it, I thought 'Eden' worked better, thank you so much for commenting - have a happy, and safe, Easter-
Koplin Avatar
April 5, 2020 at 3:07 PM
So much beauty up above. Great work!
Faulkner Avatar
April 5, 2020 at 6:40 PM
Thank you, Mark
Proxenos Avatar
April 5, 2020 at 2:30 PM
Wow Michelle - breathtaking! Blessings. Jennifer.
Faulkner Avatar
April 5, 2020 at 6:40 PM
Much appreciate it, thank you, Jennifer
Leffanta Avatar
April 3, 2020 at 1:58 PM
Well done! As a child, our ritual was not saying prayers, but counting stars until we fell asleep. Still works! Aloha! Rico
Faulkner Avatar
April 4, 2020 at 3:06 PM
Some count sheep, some count stars - hope you are sleeping well-
Barden Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 10:16 PM
Wonderful Sedoka, Michelle ... for so long I was afraid of the dark, until I realized that the darkness held such beauty as the stars - I love the dichotomy here and the exquisite phrasing - superb write! :o) <3
Faulkner Avatar
April 4, 2020 at 3:05 PM
Very flattered by your compliment, thank you for the feedback!
Wolf Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 9:31 PM
So sweetly poetic, Michelle. Great contest entry! Best always, Gershon
Faulkner Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 9:45 PM
I am flattered you like it, thanks, gw!
Marcum Wong Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 8:49 PM
This is really well done Michelle. I hope is does great in the contest. xxoo
Faulkner Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 9:15 PM
Thank you kindly, Connie -
Dietrich Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 5:21 PM
How profound, Michelle!! Great sedoka.
Faulkner Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 5:35 PM
Thank you, Andrea!
Kauffman Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 4:09 PM
Hi Michelle, love the contrast between the darkness and hope that looking at the stars brings us. Also love the phrase "free range stars!" Really nice write! Good luck in the contest.
Faulkner Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 5:35 PM
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Sam!
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace