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Sweet Surrender

Sweet Surrender Life is transitory impermanent capricious never malignant on its own Just lessons to learn but full of meaning and lived experience So when new lovers met they gravitated around the sunny stars they flattered each other's hearts fluttering away sorrow in dissipated grief for new beginnings Slowly but perspicuously he had become another's scapegoat though when her coat turned from sheep to wolf’s clothing she dug into his soul with an inurbane sour smug of superficiality The other had blamed him took no onus for her inner landscapes alienated from her vulnerable self and in protracted resolution and she is now lonely but he dances with his new lover to a different tune 04th September 2016

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 3/28/2018 7:32:00 AM
Definitely understand about not adding punctuation; I don't think most of mine have any lol. But I do line break to help ...just like you did ;) And Kai WOW! My stumbling mind grasped so much I missed initially. Awesomeness!
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Date: 3/27/2018 3:52:00 PM
Punctuation would definitely help the reader here, but the lack thereof makes it no less interesting. A great read Kai!
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 3/28/2018 2:38:00 AM
Hi Shadow of the Past. I have reshaped this poem and think it might be more succinct and easier to read. I guess I have to revisit my older poems. Thank you for the trigger. Many wishes to you. Kai
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 3/28/2018 2:23:00 AM
Hi Shadow of the past. Thank you for your comment. Punctuation is one of the things I do not do, because...The reader is supposed to do their own...But you have got a point and you are not the only one. The layout of this poem is not good. It is a very old one. I will change it. Thank you again, Kai
Date: 9/5/2016 8:23:00 PM
Very interesting and philisophical in a way but I have a question, as a former English teacher. Why no punctuation?
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 9/6/2016 2:53:00 AM
Oh well, you have hit some nail on the head there. I have started out to write my poetry as pretty total stream of consciousness and I guess that I am still stuck in that. I am in a small writer's group and my friends there have the same issue. And they tell me that when I read my poetry I actually read it as if there is punctuation. So thank you for pointing that out. I am still reluctant, because I rationalize, that I have found my own personal style, but you are right that punctuation would help the reader. Thanks again and many wishes, Kai. PS: if you read more of my poetry, please do not hold back with criticism...
Date: 9/4/2016 2:17:00 PM
wow, so revealing and deep Kai, well written dear friend :)-luloo
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Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 9/5/2016 4:05:00 AM
Thank you Laura. I will have to learn to write short stuff and therefore I appreciate your encouragement. Many wishes, Kai

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