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Sweet Surrender

Sweet Surrender

Life is transitory impermanent capricious never malignant on its own 
                
            Just lessons to learn but full of meaning and lived experience 

So when new lovers met they gravitated around the sunny stars 
       
        they flattered each other's hearts fluttering away sorrow in dissipated 
                                 
                     grief for new beginnings 

Slowly but perspicuously he had become another's scapegoat 
                        
                    though when her coat turned

     from sheep to wolf’s clothing she dug into his soul with an inurbane
                                      
                    sour smug of superficiality 

The other had blamed him took no onus for her inner landscapes alienated
                     
      from her vulnerable self and in protracted resolution and
                               
                            she is now lonely but he dances with his new lover 
 
                     to a different tune

04th September 2016

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FJ Thomas

Date: 3/28/2018 7:32:00 AM

Definitely understand about not adding punctuation; I don't think most of mine have any lol. But I do line break to help ...just like you did ;) And Kai WOW! My stumbling mind grasped so much I missed initially. Awesomeness!

FJ Thomas

Date: 3/27/2018 3:52:00 PM

Punctuation would definitely help the reader here, but the lack thereof makes it no less interesting. A great read Kai!

Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 3/28/2018 2:38:00 AM

Hi Shadow of the Past. I have reshaped this poem and think it might be more succinct and easier to read. I guess I have to revisit my older poems. Thank you for the trigger. Many wishes to you. Kai

Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 3/28/2018 2:23:00 AM

Hi Shadow of the past. Thank you for your comment. Punctuation is one of the things I do not do, because...The reader is supposed to do their own...But you have got a point and you are not the only one. The layout of this poem is not good. It is a very old one. I will change it. Thank you again, Kai

Carole Duet

Date: 9/5/2016 8:23:00 PM

Very interesting and philisophical in a way but I have a question, as a former English teacher. Why no punctuation?

Kai Michael Neumann
Date: 9/6/2016 2:53:00 AM

Oh well, you have hit some nail on the head there. I have started out to write my poetry as pretty total stream of consciousness and I guess that I am still stuck in that. I am in a small writer's group and my friends there have the same issue. And they tell me that when I read my poetry I actually read it as if there is punctuation. So thank you for pointing that out. I am still reluctant, because I rationalize, that I have found my own personal style, but you are right that punctuation would help the reader. Thanks again and many wishes, Kai. PS: if you read more of my poetry, please do not hold back with criticism...