Jazmine Russell | + Follow Poet |
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Sweet Child Pt-1

Tiny baby girl, I dream about you now. Ever since seeing you and holding you my world seems to fluctuate around you. It's in the way you smile, the way you laugh. The way you grabbed ahold of my heart with your tiny hands. And now I'm wrapped around your tiny little finger. Strangely enough when I first thought about this, I thought I was projecting Hale on you. Trying to find a way to love, trying to put my love somewhere. But I don't think of you the way I think of Hale. When I think of you the whole world falls away. Your just this special little girl I'm holding, like the world is saying yes. I know your not mine and I know you'll never be mine. And I'm okay with that. But for the first time I feel a piece of me tick back into place. I feel my heart moving. I feel a bond with another human being. Like I'm reaching outside of my body. It's like all the broken pieces in me since losing Hale disappear when I'm around you. I can breathe again, I'm not afraid, I can smile and laugh. I hang onto you like a anchor in a storm. And it's strange how I just met you, but I feel like I already know you. I want to play with you again, make you things, take you places. You make me want to burst out of this shell I've hidden myself in. And it's strange how you make me feel this way. Your just this innocent baby girl, your not some angel. Your not a savior curing me of any disease. And yet here I am. Your so damn beautiful it hurts. Your so damn special to me. And all I can think to do is ask why?
It doesn't really make much sense to me that I feel so much emotion towards you. Your not my child, I shouldn't feel this way. And yet I do. I feel this need to protect you, to take care of you, to teach you and love you. I look into your eyes and see something beautiful. Something I want to protect, not because your mine. But something I want to protect and love just because there's a need to. Is this maternal love? Is this what loving someone feels like? I know in my heart that I shouldn't love you, I know in my heart I should walk away but it's hard. Hard and sad.

Copyright © Jazmine Russell | Year Posted 2016

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