Sunday and Not One Car

Sunday and Not One Car Sunday, in the church parking lot was not one car. The clouds were overcast and heaven seemed so far. Looking around confused and wondering, dread struck. Remembering the rapture, fearing the havoc. I had tried to live rightly for most of my life. Jesus Christ, accepted, why must I face this strife? Had I not lived as valiantly as possible? Had I been too full of anger, shameful, boastful? Had I been too carnal prideful, forceful, or hurtful? A quarrelsome loathsome rebel or a rascal, Not sufficiently humble or remorseful…unrepentant. A thousand thoughts rambled through my head, unpleasant. Worst of all, my children beside me in the car, Had been left behind too, following the wrong star. We went to church; I tried to set good examples. All had been left alas, not soaring with angels. With grayness all around, I asked myself, “Now, what?” So much goodness gone to drink from the Lord's goblet, Would we ever see Heavenly Father again? The balance on earth on that day, tipped toward sin. Thank God it was not the day of final judgment. I cried, “Let there still be hope!” My soul did lament. Perhaps, if I had been more reflective before, Today, I would be with Our Father evermore. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit came over me. My confused left-behind self found new energy. I looked around and found more ways to be helpful. Forgiving others, I soon became less shameful. I saw opportunities to show kindnesses. Sins of omission changed to love, full of actions. In this strained and hurtful predicament, I saw. And when I did, my stone cold heart began to thaw. Forgive me Lord for not understanding before. I come, now, with right choices knocking at Thy door. © August 6, 2010 Dane Smith-Johnsen