Sun

I'm riddled with guilt, If I could I'd push a sword Through my heart to the hilt, Not being able to exchange one word Has my soul heavy So many thoughts Trying to break through the levy My stomach in knots, I'm on my knees Hoping someone will listen To my pleas, As my eyes do misten At every memory With every moment I am ornery, Though the pain is potent, Come alive And die again I go in and dive Into all the way back when, Trying so hard to refrain From smudging the stain, Of my reckless mess Because I spilt the milk Broken under duress, What to do, what not to do, of that ilk, And I tried to soak it all up How idiot of me back into my cup, They said don't, but I did cry Anyways, because it all seemed a lie, And I was found there it seemed It was my crime, even if I denied to the sky, The doubt settled in, and I was deemed No better than those liars before me, And who would believe other than what their eyes see? Not a chance, not an ounce Of forgiveness? Because they pounce Without a second thought Certain they connected every dot, That it is so, what they think they know, And never giving me the fighting lance, But on bended knee is my stance, Not proud defiance, Nor meek as if in receipt of pittance, But humbly wearing my heart Even if a sleeve I have not, I am apart, Not to be mistaken for the rest All those I've spoken against and detest, Won't you look into my eyes and truly watch The honesty in them, no clearer window hatch To the earnest seeker of pardon from my fall, And let that ray of sun shine on all...