Sun
Sun. sun. sun.
Shining brighter than the moon
The very thing I have always hidden behind
always longing to be as, bright as, shone as, loved as, longed for and exposed
I let him touch me a couple of times before,
but always went back to hiding behind the moon.
She’s always felt safer
the darkness around her and soft hue
Always made my wounds feel at home
the sun, warm, bright and masculine.
Makes me feel like i’m on a cold disinfected examination table
Cut wide open
His love feels like being poked and prodded
Left wide open
At least with the moon,
Darkness surrounds her holds her and makes her whole
I get to hide in her darkness
Be held and not exposed by her
She doesn’t force my legs open
Nor my heart or my soul
But allows and accepts me as I am
The sun does the same
it’s just exposes everything
It makes me squirm
And seek for safety in isolation
It longs for safety
For it’s loving warmth
cold hearts and misery and pain feel safer
This feels scary
Always an arms length away
I say so his warm lips will stay away
Until another rainy day
But even then
Push him away before
He sees all of my stains
From previous days
I don’t know what to say to him,
The sun
I’ve been running for so long, that I don’t know how to live, breathe or move in the light.
what does it look like? I just don’t know because living in darkness is easier.
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