Suicide Mural Part Two

But it didn't quite work out
My lazy eye never worked
And I got depressingly overweight
I could never be a super model
But if I tried just hard enough
I might have been a role model
But the sad truth is
I'm just an out of date model
Expired I'm ready for the trash can
My life is a tapestry of poor decisions
And things one should never do
All I'm leaving behind is my regrets
And things that will always be secret
So I get up and leave this forest
And I walk one last time through my gilded cage
From buildings reaching the sky
To rundown shops in the ghetto
I walk the beach and enjoy the view
I almost drowned in Chesapeake Bay
I got mugged on 19th bay
I met my best friend on 18th Bay
I told the cops my parents died at sea
This is where I was raised
I recall it all half dazed
Because I yearn to know where the time went
How I went from an exuberant youth
To a jaded old man so very fast
It's a blast as if it happened overnight
I suppose I was shackled to everything I wanted to be
And never considered what I actually was
So I take these words and paint them on walls
I climb on rooftops and scream until my lungs hurt
But it does little for my miserable heart
My world was once full of rainbows
But now it's full of blacks and whites I suppose
I stop at the pier and peer out at the sea 
All of these words write themselves in the sky
Upon an invisible wall that stands so tall
And the stanza stretches into the very clouds
And I'm sitting on that wall as high as the clouds
And I peer at everything I'm leaving behind
With my sullen blue eyes
I slowly close my eyes
And it all goes blissfully black
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

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Cholt Avatar
October 6, 2018 at 5:23 PM
I appreciate the honesty and courage you show in both poems.I know that when the dark clouds descend life can be a very lonely and miserable place.I can relate to the pain, the feelings andthe sentiments expressed. I'm sure many others can too. My darkest hour led me in desperation to God and his son Jesus Christ..I've found strength in him and his words to battle against depression and despair. Hope you can too. Thanks for your honesty. It's cathartic.
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