Suicide Club

She wanted love
that he wouldn’t give
She cried and thought
“How can I live?”

There was a sullen boy
who believed 
“If I’m gone others will be relieved.”
He feels not good enough
To much pain and other stuff

Then the old man
alone in a chair
sad blue eyes, grey hair
thinking “No one cares.”
Rocking, rocking, by the bed,
hand full of pills blue and red.

A father crying silently
listening to an old tune
A cigar and Jack Daniels
under a full moon
He will be long gone 
before it reaches noon.

She who used to be a him
Pretty in her own way
Carl needed to become Kim
Disowned and rejected 
by mommy and daddy Jim 
Later she’ll be at the end of her rope
attached to a tree limb

A  dead girl 
with a needle in her arm
Was so innocent once
She grew up on a farm
but the simple life
somehow lost it’s charm

Each in their own way
arrived at this place
Wanting to disappear
without a trace
Time took its toll
lonely occupies this space.
A lie without an answer
different stories to trace.
A sad secret behind every face.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Hicks Avatar
April 18, 2021 at 3:24 PM
Hard-hitting. A cacophony of different folks, all with their own reasons, to leave this world behind ... read it twice for it to sink in. The most shocking suicide to come to anyone that I knew (even if only slightly) was a co-worker when I worked at the baseball stadium. He was the team's mascot. Only saw him a couple times outside the suit, but he was a nice kid ... only 18. One day he was asked to sing the National Anthem, and his voice was nearly angelic (if that isn't strange to say).
Hicks Avatar
April 18, 2021 at 3:25 PM
...but I found out later that he took his own life. Don't know the reason.
Ellis Avatar
April 3, 2021 at 1:29 PM
I am glad you weaved many stories together.Fine stitching...As you deal with a subject matter people try to scroll pass in Poetry. I particulary loved verse 5 "She who wanted to be a him". This is simply trailblazing, brave poetry
Lamoureux Avatar
April 4, 2021 at 6:32 AM
Thanks Michael. I hope all is well with you. Blessings for Easter.
Gibson Avatar
February 14, 2021 at 3:39 PM
normally I would have not read this title for it's one subject I sadly avoid..but haunting & beautifully written...a fav
Lamoureux Avatar
February 14, 2021 at 4:42 PM
Thanks Nora, what a thoughtful response.
Balasubramanian Avatar
January 31, 2021 at 10:16 AM
I too wrote on same topic in a different way."power of thoughts, depression suicide". A bit of positive thinking goes a long way in making life happy. Great write which many can relate to.
Lamoureux Avatar
February 14, 2021 at 4:42 PM
Thanks so much Rama.
Laurie Avatar
December 30, 2020 at 3:21 PM
Hello Richard … a great insight to situations where the mind becomes confused into a false belief they are unworthy and there in no way out - heartbreaking Richard - Lindsay
Lamoureux Avatar
February 14, 2021 at 4:43 PM
Thanks Lindsay.
Thomas Avatar
December 29, 2020 at 3:07 PM
:( ...I see these faces sometimes; walking down the street, sitting in the park. Do not even know their names... but the pain screams behind their eyes. May they find peace. And you my friend.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 30, 2020 at 6:58 AM
I do hope so. Have a wonderful New Year Flo. Hugs Rick.
Robinson Jr. Avatar
December 29, 2020 at 11:38 AM
Powerful poetry, Richard!! Your pen is muse potent as always, dear friend. Love and happy holidays.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 30, 2020 at 6:58 AM
As always, you are kind.
Proxenos Avatar
December 24, 2020 at 2:10 PM
Wow Richard, parents did not accept his new style of living for Carl needed to become Kim! Your last verse tells the whole story - I enjoy your poetry my friend, I enjoy a read immensely if I can grasp it from the very beginning. So well penned. Blessings, Jennifer.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 24, 2020 at 11:03 PM
Thanks Jennifer. ;0)
Kendrick Avatar
December 24, 2020 at 7:12 AM
Yes, suicide for each person has a different reason but the main reason is the person is depressed and needs help!! Even those who have an accidental overdose are crying out for help. Enjoyed reading your very descriptive, expressive and emotive work. They say that more suicides happen around the Christmas season because it makes it even harder for the depressed. Thanks for the visit to my page. Sara..My biological mother died from suicide she lived at home 2 days before they sought medical ....
Lamoureux Avatar
December 24, 2020 at 10:07 AM
So sorry to hear that Sara. Such an awful thing when time is robbed from you. Hugs Rick.
Kendrick Avatar
December 24, 2020 at 7:13 AM
attention. Then she lived 4 more days at the hospital before she passed on. The people who I have talked to said it was one horrible death. She took some pills which contained mercury and cyanide. Sara
Macfarlane Avatar
December 23, 2020 at 6:28 AM
A powerful write Rick on a subject that takes and affects so many lives. Great poem. Hugs
Lamoureux Avatar
December 23, 2020 at 6:31 AM
Thanks Cecilia, hugs Rick.
Downing  Avatar
December 21, 2020 at 6:31 PM
This is so sad, and yes suicidal keeps climbing higher every year. It is very sad. Great poem, Richard, and wishing you a safe Merry Christmas :)
Lamoureux Avatar
December 22, 2020 at 5:58 AM
Thanks Akkina. It is indeed a great sadness.
Andresen Avatar
December 21, 2020 at 12:07 PM
- I often make changes after the post ... a writing that leaves deep traces, Richard :) - Have a wonderful Christmas ... and a virus-free new year 2021 :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Lamoureux Avatar
December 22, 2020 at 5:59 AM
Sounds good, Merry Christmas to you too Ann-Lise.
Dietrich Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 3:21 PM
BTW I understand Pangie's outcry below. Suicides are WAY up thanks to 2020, losses of business, etc. which is something not even being looked at by "experts" But I will not go blathering on with my controversial ideas that are taken as loony by most people today. I also have known people who took their lives for the exact reasons you mention in your poem. My husband considered it once (bad childhood resulting in anxiety, etc) He's feeling depressed again for what govts. are doing to the world.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 22, 2020 at 6:02 AM
So sorry your husband isn’t doing well. I can relate to the bad childhood experience. These are indeed strange times and are having there toll on people. Hugs Rick.
Dietrich Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 3:10 PM
this is so sad and true, Richard. So many lives going on in a silent little tragedy that only those souls can truly know. I do not believe God punishes people who are so sad that they take their lives. I often wonder if there is reincarnation and if they will be allowed to live a different life "next time." Who can know what it all means. but I know it has to means SOMETHING, and we are all here to learn both joy and pain to be able to relate to all humankind. GREAT POEM
Lamoureux Avatar
December 22, 2020 at 6:08 AM
I too do not believe that God punishes those poor souls that choose to end their lives.
Nicole Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 7:16 PM
Life is Precious- no matter the situation. Your thoughts touch my heart so deeply. So many are in need of prayers. This is tender, moving and heartbreaking- all at the same time. ~ Brandy
Lamoureux Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 10:09 PM
Sadly it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In the end we are all in need of connection and wanting to belong. Thanks for such a sensitive response Brandy.
Wolf Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 4:49 PM
Nice expose of the 'story inside the story,' Richard. Rejection certainly has severe consequences. Here's to acceptance of each other's uniqueness. As they say: 'Judge not, that ye not be judged.' ~ Life and Light, Gershon
Lamoureux Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 4:59 PM
Thanks Gershon, I appreciate your visit.
Devonshire Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 2:31 PM
I guess people resort to suicide for a wide range of reasons. So sad, but I know what it's like to want to "disappear." A very beautifully written poem, Richard. Best wishes for the holidays, Carolyn
Lamoureux Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 4:31 PM
Thank you Carolyn, I appreciate the visit.
Rose  Avatar
December 18, 2020 at 11:15 AM
Oh Richard, if only I had a cup of hope for each one of these , but sometimes they are beyond hope, thank you for sharing such a sensitive write, we all need to do our part and reach out to those who need us, especially this year. Merry Christmas dear poet.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 5:41 AM
Thanks Vienna, I hope you have a meaningful Christmas. Hugs Rick.
Daniel Avatar
December 17, 2020 at 10:24 PM
Oh! This is sad how you point out the different reasons why many take away their own lives, maybe true for many, wish people understood that life is a gift of God..
Lamoureux Avatar
December 18, 2020 at 6:15 AM
It is far more complicated than I can express in a few stanzas. I think there is an epidemic of loneliness. People are in desperate need of connection. Thanks for your visit.
Romios Avatar
December 16, 2020 at 7:13 PM
Yes Richard, doctors are concerned, in my state, suicides are up by 5,000 this year. .worse parents beating up on chiidren ending up in ER! Add...many cannot bear this lockdown will need mental health care! I find it sinful, and totalitarian to lock people up People Worse..of all look down their arrogant noses at suicide. Cruel, very. We are poets not qualified Psychoanalysts . Pangie xx
Lamoureux Avatar
December 22, 2020 at 6:06 AM
In coming back to read your response with a fresh mind, I’m surprised by what I gleaned from it. This is a heart felt response and I apologize for my reaction. I don’t feel however that most people look down their noses at suicide, I believe they feel the sorrow and pain associated with it. Hugs Rick.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 17, 2020 at 7:22 AM
I’m surprised that’s what you gleaned from this piece. I was not aware there were any aspects of humanity that a poet could not consider.
Summers Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 9:18 PM
A very emotional poem on a subject that needs much more attention. The saddest thing for me is the upheaval left behind for family and friends to try and make sense of. Good poem.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 17, 2020 at 7:24 AM
Yes that is a sad reality. I feel so bad for people who come to the point that to continue living is more painful than ending their lives. Thanks for visiting.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 7:59 AM
A beautiful and empathetic rendering Richard, lovely done. mo hugs
Lamoureux Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 12:25 PM
Thanks Maureen.
Y. Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 7:46 AM
WoW! Richard, You have penned powerful, moving, and heartfelt write on such a difficult topic. We need to talk about this more to gain understanding to help folk that feels like this.Thanks for penning a write on a sensitive issue- Alexis
Lamoureux Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 12:26 PM
Much appreciated Alexis. Blessings Rick.
Andresen Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 7:39 AM
- When someone chooses to take their own life ... they really are far down ... a powerful poem, Richard - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Lamoureux Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 12:27 PM
Thanks Anne Lise. Give it another read. I made some changes.
Andresen Avatar
December 15, 2020 at 7:40 AM
... no light in the tunnel
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