Suicide

At times I can forget and the memories begin to fade At times I feel overwhelmed by the sadness of it all His love was not as pure and powerful as mine The hurt within myself overpowers my surroundings At times I feel so empty like a shell strewn on the beach Amongst the other empty shells of others who loved and lost As the breeze lifts and sway the palm leaves above And the white faced monkeys play tag along the beach The warm Pacific waters of Costa Rica beckon For me to enter the safety of Earth Mother’s womb To once again return to my very beginnings At peace and empty of thoughts of a complicated life The bright southern sun sparkles on the rolling surf The clean blue sky melts into the edge of the ocean The toucans and parrots parade their colours As the tide comes in with the roar of each wave And I sit on this secluded beach weighing pros and cons Do I take the ocean walk so inviting before me What is there left for me, I’ve lived my life and said my goodbyes Life goes on around me as I gaze out along the beach He doesn’t love me enough to even send a message Would he even miss me, already focussed on someone new I was just a number but the one he had the longest Perhaps we will meet again as my next life awaits me I get up off my towel and walk towards the water So warm and inviting, the sounds of nature all around me First knee high, then thigh high, then a wave washes over me It envelops me and pulls me deeper into the womb Where I now only hear muted sounds as my memories fade And at last I am at peace as the warm Pacific takes me