Suicide
At times I can forget and the memories begin to fade
At times I feel overwhelmed by the sadness of it all
His love was not as pure and powerful as mine
The hurt within myself overpowers my surroundings
At times I feel so empty like a shell strewn on the beach
Amongst the other empty shells of others who loved and lost
As the breeze lifts and sway the palm leaves above
And the white faced monkeys play tag along the beach
The warm Pacific waters of Costa Rica beckon
For me to enter the safety of Earth Mother’s womb
To once again return to my very beginnings
At peace and empty of thoughts of a complicated life
The bright southern sun sparkles on the rolling surf
The clean blue sky melts into the edge of the ocean
The toucans and parrots parade their colours
As the tide comes in with the roar of each wave
And I sit on this secluded beach weighing pros and cons
Do I take the ocean walk so inviting before me
What is there left for me, I’ve lived my life and said my goodbyes
Life goes on around me as I gaze out along the beach
He doesn’t love me enough to even send a message
Would he even miss me, already focussed on someone new
I was just a number but the one he had the longest
Perhaps we will meet again as my next life awaits me
I get up off my towel and walk towards the water
So warm and inviting, the sounds of nature all around me
First knee high, then thigh high, then a wave washes over me
It envelops me and pulls me deeper into the womb
Where I now only hear muted sounds as my memories fade
And at last I am at peace as the warm Pacific takes me
Copyright © Ingrid Lehman | Year Posted 2019
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