Suicide (Goodbye)
This piece doesn't depict any true events, nor does it
describe my current state of mind. It is what it is,
creativity at its finest. Enjoy (or not) .
I lay in bed and look up at the ceiling late at night, the
same as many nights before, but sumthin just aint
right,
I'm fighting major drowsiness and yes I'm kinda
shook, I hope it doesn't hurt those 40 sleeping pills I
took.
I'm tired of the life I'm living cause it's all a joke, I try
and mask my misery with alcohol and smoke,
the pain is cause for laughter even though it badly
hurts, I talk and badly slur I guess it's gone from bad
to worse.
I think about my daughter growing up without me
here, I'm sorry Stinky Faces, Daddy's thinking
thoughts through tears,
emotions mixed with medicine, my thinking's not too
clear, I'll miss the coming years in which to chase
away your fears.
It shouldn't have ever come to this, it really isn't fair, I
should've took assistance but my pride just didn't
care,
the weight's become too burdensome for mind and
soul to bear, I get up, try to walk and fall face first into
a chair.
I'm on the floor and leaking from the gash above my
eye, commercials on the TV say to kiss it all goodbye,
but it's not really saying that, it's all inside my mind,
so funny what you hear when on the verge of time to
die.
I'm thinkin on my peoples and I'll damn sure miss
them so, there's Chosen, Nikki, Lady Ice, D. Sweets
plus Lou and Stone,
the E.P.I.C. Fam, my homie Rich, bright lights just
make me stare, it feels like something's grabbing at
me, baby take me there.
My thoughts soon turn to Wifey and the pain that
she'll endure, to fix whatever ails me God I wish she
had the cure,
I'm happy I won't live to see the hurt that's in her
eyes, to know I caused this for my baby, I deserve to
die.
The blood loss leave me motionless, the pills have
hit their stride, with visions of the park I rode my bike
in all those times,
so long ago when I was young but times have rolled
on by, my final thought is of my child and then I close
my eyes,
goodbye.....
Copyright © James Lewis | Year Posted 2011
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