Such a Quandary

To get the big prize I have to die
I can get myself there rapidly or die a slow painful death.
It’s my choice; my parents did not choose wisely.
They both had lingering, sad, painful “I want to die” deaths.
Unfortunately, by the time they got there
There was nothing they can do about it.

Heaven is the prize right?
If I off myself, some people think I will not make it.
I will go to the frying pan place instead.
Not being super sure about it, I consider it.
Part of me knows if I get older and infirmed
My children will resolutely keep me alive
even though I feel dead.
I do not want that!

To go now
or to wait and see
That is the question.
And what if there is no heaven?
Is being a particle of dust in the air the prize?
Will a cat or dog chase me at least when that happens?
Such a quandary.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Rodrigues Avatar
November 8, 2021 at 11:31 AM
Sweet, sweet friend, we need your poetic quandaries to go on and on and on. I hope your death and mine will not be horrible. Heaven says stay grounded on earth. Love you <3
Krutsinger Avatar
November 8, 2021 at 2:10 PM
I cannot imagine a horrible death; I am willing for quick though.
Hankins Avatar
November 7, 2021 at 7:42 PM
Hmmm...definitely, when it is considered prematurely. I live thinking that I will know when the time comes. Question: How will I know when the time comes? I refuse to suffer, and I refuse to be a burden. God, I just pray it comes quickly, unexpectedly, and in the middle of a deep sleep. Five will get you ten I have little say in this part of it.
Krutsinger Avatar
November 8, 2021 at 2:10 PM
I wish my parents would have had a say in their deaths; they both went painfully and slowly.
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