Struggling For Exception

In the 8th grade, I realized something I was overweight Fat And in my eyes unattractive So I started starving myself Me a 13-year-old starving so that I could be skinny Pretty Successful Loved That's what I assumed you needed I thought that wearing a size 18 in dresses was a disgrace I felt disgusting I felt like nobody would ever love me Because of I overweight When I hit my freshman year in high school I had dropped two dress sizes And joined choir not only for my love of singing But because I knew singing for an hour would bring you down 100 calories And that dancing would bring you down more I was losing weight I was happy But felt weak feeling dizzy from the lack of food in my system Sophomore year of high school I was passing out And having bad stomach pains But I continued Because my efforts got me a boyfriend And I went down 3-4 dress sizes Things were great but I was not skinny enough By my senior year of high school, I was a size 9 in pants Feeling weak dizzy sick and unloved I continued and struggle to this day I want to love my body I want to love myself As much as others have said they loved me But it's hard because I am surrounded by beautiful women All of varying sizes big and small but the media tells me small is what I should be To be attractive to be successful to be loved I fight now against a habit I have had for years Finally willing to give it up Because I know that its what is on the inside that counts Not whats on the outside And if someone judges you on your looks before getting to know you You don't need them anyway We are all beautiful in our own way We as a population just need to realize that