Stranger Than Fiction
*warning* disturbing lines have been detected - you have been warned, readers. Okay, enjoy this somewhat deep and astounding poem from me that took days to write...>:)
I bet you anything that I'm the laziest guy in the world
Bored all the time and it's hard to concentrate when time passes me by
I wish I didn't exist because I have held on to these ugly conditions for so long...
Bipolar with a whole lot of addictions to put up with - don't feel sorry for me, for all along,
Maybe He is telling me I'm strong...
And I do belong though I'm stranger than fiction
I need to figure out how to stand my ground when I face my addiction
It's reducing to affliction
Having a blank mind when I'm watching my life fade away
We were on each other's team
Until you ruined my self-esteem
We were all going to let out our merry scream,
But we ruined each other's self esteem
Drenched in silent wars the moment you had a halo about your devil horns
My silent slumber spent on you...you were a delightful dream until my heart forlorns
I see a gleam of lies
In your universe eyes
I saw a reflection of hate...
A love that has arrived late
We are sheltering each other from the rainstorm
Silently still on my bed, awake with sudden dread
Admiring the moon as it shines so vibrant against an ebony sky
Show me how to live life without any worries in mind
You're my miracle in disguise
You're my pocketful of illuminating light, attracting many flies
Quit ignoring my messages and I'm growing tired of your thoughtless goodbyes
I'm trying to bite the bullet for you...the shadows of you gives me those temporary highs
But what comes up must come down...
I'm so mind-blown cuz I was all alone
Good news - you make me wear an upside down frown when you drive me 'round in town
Once upon a time, I was a broken bone when I was left on my own, no one is picking up the phone
Pornographic images flood my mind...I've lost my mind along the way
I'm going way down with a lonely frown
My mind is numb and dumb and I'm blind with corruption's cum, intoxicated with a daydreamer's rum
Under a Crooked spell, screwed up in the head
Flipping out and drowning in dread
Darling, I'm sorry that I isolate myself in my room of doom
There's hope to rely on when I associate with you...you are my spring bloom,
Reminding me that there's still beauty in my heart
But I thought I tore it all apart from the start
I adore you...darling who set me free from my torture chamber
I wept because I was blue from an attitude of solitude...I don't mean to act immature
The unbearable insomnia
Takes over me night after night
My eyes stare at the screen in awe
I'm trying to drown out the darkness with all remaining might
Exposed to the artificial light man has made for our pleasure alone
Suppose there's a reason I can't close my eyes...the reason is just left unknown
The pain and suffering I see is out of sight
Spare the poor the riches that life has in store for them...they aren't the ones that deserve to be condemned
Remove their lives from sorrows that doesn't serve them right
Why must I give in to my perverse ways? I still have a chance to treasure my innocence like a rare gem
The brawls of blasphemed boredom
Has allowed me to put my guard down...and I regret losing time over my pleasures that I wish would fade away from me... God's Kingdom come!
I want to seek His holy rest, but I keep avoiding it as if I'm the east and His word is the west...
I'm trying my best not to be a pest...I don't want to watch my life pass away before my very eyes...I want to pass life's tough test
If only God's spirit can wrap me up with divine bliss...
If only I had the energy to dispose of my hopelessness...
Believe it or not, God is still around
I may be a lost and frightened child, but I'll prevent my faith from failing me now - I will not be left behind, but sooner or later, I'll be found...above the ground
The butterflies fly away as I sing on stage with rageless melody
Musing about yesterday's tomorrow and my plans are set free
I'm gonna be okay, I just got to captivate my creativity
Nothing lasts forever sadly, but I'm not gonna worry, for that will waste my time with me
But, let's be honest, I'm wanting more than just acceptance
Sure, I'm a shy guy that is used to such neglectance...this rejectance
When I am around others,
I don't know what to say
I need you to know that I need something more than this this night...this godly day could give me...but hey
But what is life if you don't get my way?
Things won't just get better if I do nothing today
I'm awkward and random
Waiting for God's lovely kingdom
We all walk about in circles and waste time on our hands
I'll just say what I have in mind from now on...clap hands, for I've crashed with a hundred lands
Grinding on the gravel of my existence
Now, it's getting stranger than fiction
Rapt in rue out of the blue...fenced in by your ignorance
Destined to dream the dream of reality, reigning over friction and jurisdiction, a rather jaded depiction
You are the valley
I am the mountain
We go together frankly
So be not a sad, sad fountain
Wriggling my way out of the snare I'm in
Frolicking in the wilderness of weeds
Sprinkling salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor from deep within
Licking the flames of ice fire...doing dirty deeds
Tired of trying to be someone I'm not
I'm tired of you, leaving me in the dead center to rot
I'm tired of me, getting tired and giving in to giving up...scars left to mend
I'm tired of everyone and everything, so leave me alone
I'll be stranger than fiction in your disgraceful face...a broken bone
I'm tired of it all...I had enough of this dilemma I've been encountering for years on end
Come on and spell out my rage on paper
Pluck out the thorns of thundering thatred from the roses of painstaking proses and watching endless, you-snooze-you-lose shows
I was a hater, now I will catch you later
Out of luck...giving myself credit, not getting a big head over it...anything goes wherever the wicked wind blows
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015
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