Stitched

would you guide me? be my golden thread, lead me through the labyrinth of my own mind, help me travel through the deadly twists and turns, would you protect me from the beasts inside? i am empty, a shell, an apparition a ghost i lurk in the corners; invisible, transparent you’ll never see me but it’s ok, i am used to pain and terror, used to being used, comfortable with being uncomfortable, ok with not being ok, but maybe you could fix me? even if it’s temporary, give me a band aid and a butterfly kiss, just to hide the wound, to make it pretty cover it up, conceal it conceal, conceal, conceal never show them anything, honey hide your feelings, honey, hide every last one the depression, the angst, the sorrow, dig a hole in the sand box, use the plastic shovels and cover them all up, bury them down, deep, deep, deep but could i give you some of my demons? could i transfer a few to you? could i give you a little piece of me, a souvenir, a little keychain thanks for visiting the desolate, foreign lands of my thoughts, hope you had a nice stay could you clip it to your backpack? look at it sometimes and think of your trip think of me, remember me, maybe even if it’s only for a second baby could you think of me? because with you, the words come easy, with them, they stick in my throat a ball and chain around my tongue, forcing it down my throat ‘shut up, honey’ the shackles hiss ‘shut your ugly mouth’ i listen i swallow them down i won’t throw those words up in front of them i’ll purge them tonight when i’m alone in my room, lights off, pen in hand i’ll throw them all up, every dirty confession spit them up in the bathtub, wash them down the drain i’m a mess, honey a tangled spool of thread unknot me, baby pull apart every loop, smooth me out take me and sew something pretty something sentimental, something meaningful oh god, i’d love to be something meaningful a movie ticket stub from a first date, a lock of baby hair, a letter to a first love, take me, all my tangled mess and create something amazing we could be beautifully stitched together, baby -e.g.