Steps To the Metro

decided
to take a look 
within

scary bones fighting 
trying to escape
 
dim 
sounds of angels flying
just outside my window
 
to places
 
that pissed my bones to go

So what
 
i forgot how to see 
i’m trying desperately

So what

heels on blocks of concrete fever
now just sinking into a lotion 
of grey lather

click clack click clap


there's my tribe

bowed heads praying yes praying
into cells
containing minds

distracting from 
reality or maybe fantasy
 
or
 
may be

we’ll never 
know
 
one
ever came back 
to say so

So what

that I make my bed every day

So what

no one ever comes 
          to feel the sheets 
of my stretching

So what

            that no one knows


 
at the metro 
there was a dusty young girl 
trying to pull her pant legs up 
over her waist-ed mind

red wild hair 
that would scare 
red hair wild

glances met
she knew my name
she floated it as we passed

i heard 
her see

when I was there
 
you remember

of course, you do

And what
 
i heard the clarity 
in the attempted muffle

she stared at me 
sort of growled

i don’t 
remember 

choosing this

do 
you

how long
is this mess 
supposed to last

do you 
remember 

standing in that 
angelic line

wait a minute

So what

i know the place was divine

So what

but I’m surely pissed

So what

was I drunk to accept this

So what..


you 


were first 


to say yes

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018



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Date: 12/9/2020 8:20:00 PM
Great! Love its rhythm.
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Date: 9/9/2019 8:22:00 AM
I travelled with you on this 'trip' down into the metro. Imaginative blending of words as in < I heard her see > Yes hypnotic...ty for sharing :-) Onward....
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Date: 9/8/2019 11:43:00 AM
Just adding my applause to the other comments here. A fascinating hypnotic read. Most excellent.
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Date: 10/28/2018 7:51:00 AM
Hi! Gabrielle, Wonderfully deep verse...So what..:) Sort of reality meets redemption. Your teaching to the people..your words seemingly make me think of my motto.. "there's praise in words and wods in praise: Be Bless nothing else~~James
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Date: 9/9/2018 2:29:00 AM
"not ready to accept the walls of wailed writing" = this made me think of all the irritated people who hate their job, and the gray walls that hate these haters. "click clack click clap" this was the sound of a typewriter in my mind. My mind was flying around with this poem, loving it every jump, hop, and skip, and it was TRAVELING FAST. Wow! Love it!
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Date: 9/8/2018 11:21:00 AM
Life does go on day by day, Until nothing is left to say; Quiet remain, Until insane; Another poem write I may.
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Jordan Avatar
Gabrielle Jordan
Date: 9/8/2018 1:17:00 PM
Hi James, quite it does. I guess we will have to be stewards until there is nothing left to say...Thanks much!
Date: 9/8/2018 2:56:00 AM
You have an amazing way with words! I confess, I don't necessarily understand what all of this poem is about... but I'm nevertheless captivated by the attitude and rhythm of it.
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Mcferran Avatar
Rhona Mcferran
Date: 9/8/2018 10:13:00 AM
Yes, it's usually for the best when they take on that 'life of their own'! ;) There are so many things I love in this piece, (the part about the made-up bed that no one sees... the word-play "wild red hair/ that would scare/ red hair wild"... & the Maya Angelou-like sass of "feeling lucky that/ they are not me/ do they think/ they won the lottery" (& I could go on)... Brilliant!
Jordan Avatar
Gabrielle Jordan
Date: 9/8/2018 7:52:00 AM
Hey Rhona, yet another piece that morphs on its own..to a place it wants to go:) I have made some revisions here. Thank you so much! Have a blessed Saturday!
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