Star Spangled Banter

The Private caressed his balls out of action during the short ceasefire the Army had scanned him for testosterone because they needed a killer He bit into a Milky Way as he cradled his crotch to get ready for the fight his Universe had become conquest for a medal or a bow to his member he was an intelligent man and knew that Thanatos and Eros were close he was bored with war as his days were filled with one kill after another a bit of rape pillage and outright murder strewn in for diversity training nothing out of the ordinary just protecting family dogma and fatherland But wait today he had been given a Galaxy chocolate bar in his rat pack mouth-wateringly smooth it ran down his sticky fingers in the battle heat Divine comedy called as he slipped from the trigger to miss the target oiling his gun had been his forte but sweets and retribution don’t mix When he reached for the hand-grenade on his ammunition belt he stalled because he held a flaccid apple and dreamt of virgins and paradise’s snake gripped his resolve and temptation firmly and waved a whitewashed flag But he had enlisted for glory so when duty called again he felt like a Smartie and an Oreo biscuit creamy on the inside sheltered and crisp on the outside He had once read Nabokov but this moment was reserved for Nabisco and Lolita approached in hot pants on the horizon in between ruins and dust Where there’s smoke there is light he concluded and happiness is a warm gun He had to get collateral damage out of his mind and face mostly friendly fire so he delayed retrograde action for there is a time for every pulsating feast and therefore he loaded his kind weapon and aimed straight at bull’s eye lids dreamt of his wife and his mistress he had to guard with all his body and soul Just then he exploded in a mine field and became a eunuch in Dad’s Army 14th September 2020