Andy Sprouse Poet Free verse

St Patrick's Day Madness

In me I find a conflict, opposing forces,
the first nurtured by choice, latter by circumstance.
So much love, so much gentleness,
and yet so much rage, so much fervor.

I want to be free of this anger.
I want to not bloody my knuckles,
when I can't turn a key the right way.
I want to not wake a friend late at night,
when I can't figure myself out.

I want to do all this, and yet I revel
in the anger and in the power;
in the rush it brings;
in hitting something for once;
in a maddened, violent release.

I want to use it the way I used to.
I want it to be for defense,
to fight back, to help, to stand.
I want it to be for the bark and the bite,
towards hate to be directed and plied.

I want my shoulders to be free,
of the devil whispering for its release;
of my demons screaming for theirs;
of the claw marks of their successes at digging in;
of the weight of carrying them all.

Alas, what we choose is not given to us.
Only two things are given to us:
surprises, for good or ill,
and the chance to meet them, to face them.

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