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Spring Into Haiku

. . . . . . . pink laced branches shimmer against the sun petals in my lunch thirst quenched by snow's runoff... I roll up my jeans my breath silenced by cold water... blue feet with red nails reaching the meadow discomfort is forgotten... blisters on my heel sneezing from wildflower pollen.... flannel sleeve hanky wildflowers reflect on sunglasses... camera's click . . . . . . . . . 5/7/14 For Deb's Contest: "Spring Into Haiku

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Reason A. Poteet

Date: 5/27/2014 7:53:00 AM

Terrific, I love the imagery in each and every one. Some haiku is so vague, I can't get a picture. Yours! are clear and concise. I rank this set as a 10 also. congratulations on the quality of your haiku.

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 5/16/2014 10:27:00 PM

Every one is a beautiful gem Carrie. I can easily see why you took the Top honor in this contest! Congratulations!

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 5/16/2014 9:00:00 PM

Great haiku. Congratulations on the win, Carrie

Matthew Anish

Date: 5/16/2014 7:57:00 PM

Very nice short poems here! I read about a Japanese teacher of haiku who reads 30,000 of them a month! His life is all haiku. That does sound like pleasant work, doesn't it? Peace &Love Matthew Anish

David Mohn

Date: 5/16/2014 11:21:00 AM

Congrats Carrie..nicely written

Lori Lucas Mcclure

Date: 5/16/2014 7:39:00 AM

Congratulations on your first place win! Lori

Linda Jackson

Date: 5/16/2014 7:35:00 AM

Wonderful poem. Congratulations. Linda x

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 5/16/2014 5:53:00 AM

Wonderful haikus Carrie ! Can win any heart ,, congrats on great win !

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

Date: 5/16/2014 12:58:00 AM

CONGRATULATIONS.. :D

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser
Date: 5/16/2014 12:59:00 AM

WEEEEE.... LOVE Both the picture and the the atmosphere of each line.. :D

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 5/15/2014 10:52:00 PM

Congrad's Carrie great work! Light & Love

Verlena S. Walker

Date: 5/15/2014 10:07:00 PM

Nice Carrie. Congratulations on winning in Deb's contest. Verlena

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 5/15/2014 9:09:00 PM

AWESOMENESS in this set. BIG congrats. I am just now seeing I made the list right under you. WOW.

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 5/9/2014 3:06:00 PM

Your haiku-Outstanding sweet Carrie..The first and last my favorites of all favorites..Hope you re doing fine sweet lady.

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 5/9/2014 1:44:00 PM

okies they are all now haiku, #1 and #4 could still be improved -#1 is the subject sunlight? it should be because a mood is not tangible - if you wanted to deal with mood you'd have to SHOW a bad mood [he shakes his fist/at the ten mile sign-empty canteen] deal with only 1 subject #4 the mountain view/puts a spring in my step - a song echoes]

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 5/9/2014 7:34:00 AM

don't be afraid to get up to the 5/7/5 IF it helps the flow - #1 you are still trying to use a metaphor - facts - not your subjective impression #2 [my thirst/is quenched by the snow ..now we all KNOW your throat would be FROZEN because you are SHOWING us and we have our own memories not yours ;)]#4 [a full backpack ... let the poem be in the readers mind - we know that would be heavy don't tell us ;) & use the articles ;) #5 OK #6 [wildflowers reflect - NO 's'

Carrie Richards
Date: 5/9/2014 10:37:00 AM

Thanks again, Deb....once again, I've made some changes. :)

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 5/8/2014 7:54:00 PM

# 1 Carrie a beautiful concept but you are judging, you have decided for us that the heat of the sun has brought out for us all the sweet smells, it's subjective, stay OBJECTIVE,#2 quenched is more of a free verse word [ remember keep it as simple as porridge] stay in present tense #3 good [the IS, is implied] #4 good #5 needs a new line 3 stay sensory & objective not analytical #6 needs to be put in present tense & a new 3rd line - hope that helps? L & L

Carrie Richards
Date: 5/8/2014 7:59:00 PM

Thanks Deb......these haiku's are always harder than they first appear!!! I still have a lot to learn! I will try some changes! Thanks again!

Ilene Bauer

Date: 5/8/2014 7:32:00 AM

beautiful! i could picture it all...

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 5/8/2014 2:18:00 AM

Lovely string of haiku bringing spring alive, carrie

Leon Enriquez

Date: 5/7/2014 9:25:00 PM

Dear Carrie: Lovely haiku fragments. Wonderful pieces truly. Keep the writes coming. A wonderful array of observations. All the best then. Leon