Sprained My Heart

Sprained My Heart I’ll kiss your image that sleeps in my memory That’s what I’ll do and ponder a spell You left me with that wound inside that hasn’t been fixed in nary five years. And even than… I prayed over it without results. And the cows came home but surely you didn’t . So I sorted out on liquor and revenged my own self to stick to it! Revenge is as if I don’t pray and just expect a lucky parlay from God. Fired from my job and down the hall hired me for a much better salary! But I missed Gods point. “If a man ain’t careful he can make a profession out of revenge!” I decided to take on with women even ugly ones at that. There was nothing to disappoint with an ugly women at least I had convinced myself of it ,but soon found out each women has a heart too and theys as bigger than mine. And they can fight as well!! He fell asleep afterwards but awkwardly woke and dressed and paid the sleeping woman the sum. Left the money on the night table as she snored away as each quack of a snore awakened every emotion especially to cover her mouth! He felt hollow after each encounter blaming God, his Mother for leaving him and Jackie his only brother ,but lastly he grieved himself. God had let him sprain his heart and it had quit and the moments were lingering as a summer lightning bolt hits something and we don’t know what! He prayed and after one month or a few months and working with God he eventually ,like a troll under the bridge ,searched the internet for new ones or go back to old ones. But it didn’t work or God made it not work for my benefit or I had a medical condition that prevented me from climaxing! And of course God was behind it all. I told Father Mannos about the crimes and sins I committed. My friend said , “What did he say?” I told him He said , say 3 Hail Marys and could I shake down the Monsignor for some cash from the Bingo he is withholding funds from my salary!” I couldn’t believe what I was being asked to do!!Shake down a Monsignor for some cash so we made a plan! Polluted steps or words spoken or taken It’s silence that kills. I know that sneaking up on a sleeping cat and dropping a load of pots and pans on the ground could scare the whiskers out of them cats!!! I been known to tie fire crackers to fearsome number of cats. And watch them go crazy but… But the Monsignor was clever he slept with his purse under his pillow. We came up with a beautiful plan we used a feather duster and when the old boy felt the itching we pounced on his purse and took it and he never woke! We lightened the purse by 40$ for liquor and stole a few bottles of priest wine!! And before I gave the purse to father Manno I made sure of my absolution but he said now I have to make up for it by coming to confession for stealing from the Monsignor!!! “I said you ordered me to do it father!!! Ha Ha!! I caught you!!” Manno says to me,”That confession was sealed and you stole under no order from me, I’d never say that! So now about those plants I want you to plant around Mrs Haggerty’s house and it better look grand!!’’ By Patrick Cornwall