Sports Injuries

SPORTS INJURIES

I come in at number seven for Wanoona cricket club,
to face the bowlers from Dargetta, a mob from out the scrub.
I was doing pretty good, right up ‘til I was forty-four,
and then a bouncer dropped me cold, so I couldn’t bat no more. 

My world was spinning ‘round in circles; I’m in a gyrating waltz,
until confronted with the first aid box and the evil smelling salts.
I was feeling like the morning after a night out on the grog,
and with nine down and six runs needed, I’m back batting in a fog.

Just hold your end up urged my partner; he’ll knock off the needed runs,
but I kept seeing two balls coming, as if they’re fired from guns.
Dargetta showed no sympathy, they still bowled at quite a pace,.
When another bouncer got me; me nose was splattered ‘cross me face.

This time it was more serious, the first aid box was useless now,
for a broken nose and flowing blood, needs more than they allow,
so it’s off to to the outpatients, to see if they can fix my nose.
I held a towel up to my face, and blood covered all my clothes.

I booked in to see a doctor, but then sat out in the foyer,
and half a dozen people passed and suggest I see a lawyer,
then a bloke who’s anxious joined me, and so for what it’s worth.
I watched him pacing up and down as if his wife is giving birth.

He was dressed in golf attire, so had come straight there from the course.
I tried to calm him down a mite and seek out to find the source,
of this fellows agitation and why he’s in this panic state,
but when a nurse confronted him, I heard about his nervous wait.

The nurse asked the bloke if he’s okay and heard his shaken quote.
“My golfing mate needs to remove me golf ball, driven down his throat.
He’s being operated on right now”, and then I heard him drawl.
‘I hope they’re bloody careful, and don’t do damage to my ball.’
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Wolf Avatar
April 19, 2020 at 2:58 PM
Your nose gonna be ok?! LOL. Great one! Vintage Lindsay Laurie, I must say! :) gw
Laurie Avatar
April 22, 2020 at 11:17 PM
Hello Gershon … can't afford to lose valuable equipment even if it means taking a life. That's the way of sport these days - thank you Gershon - Lindsay
Ball Avatar
April 18, 2020 at 4:39 PM
Loved this Lindsay. It gave me a chuckle. I guess that's the way of most sportsters. The game is all that counts. Great job. God Bless, JB
Laurie Avatar
April 22, 2020 at 11:14 PM
Hello Judy … how true, it's the game that counts. During this very serious virus, sport keeps pushing to get back out on the playing fields. Pleased you got a chuckle Judy - Lindsay
Proxenos Avatar
April 17, 2020 at 11:59 AM
All your poems have awesome punchlines, this one is no exception, had a laugh - Great write Lindsay. Blessings, Jennifer
Laurie Avatar
April 22, 2020 at 11:11 PM
Hello Jennifer … I like to call it joke poetry. I find it a great way to tell a tale using the skill of rhyming. Thank you for your positive comment Jennifer - Lindsay
Leffanta Avatar
April 14, 2020 at 2:24 PM
Just imagine the damage to the victim's reputation, i.e., swallowing balls! This is one of your funniest! Well done! Aloha! Rico
Laurie Avatar
April 22, 2020 at 11:08 PM
G'day Rico … it's a trick golfers love to play on their mates. Sometimes the ball gets stuck in the throat - thanks Rico - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
April 14, 2020 at 1:43 PM
ha ha ha the punch line is hilarious - I attempted to play golf, i developed quite a handicap... I couldn't hit the bloody ball lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Laurie Avatar
April 22, 2020 at 11:05 PM
G'day Jan … some people just have to get their priorities right don't they - thank you Jan - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
April 14, 2020 at 2:52 AM
Lol, well them balls ain't cheap.
Laurie Avatar
April 22, 2020 at 11:03 PM
G'day Tom … no, but at least he knows this ball is not lost in the rough somewhere - thanks Tom - Lindsay
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