Speaking With Shakespeare

I ran into Shakespeare the other day. Told him I too am writing a play. He asked about the premise, which was a reeler. I had no idea he is a big premise-stealer. I told him the plot, and he took a few notes. I was excited when I saw him put them into his totes. What will you do with them? I asked him, truly awed. He would not tell me, because Shakespeare is flawed. Just one thing, he asked, what is a hooker? I thought that was funny, he's quite a humorous cooker! A harlot, a whore, a rounder, tart, courtesan, I said. "Oh, a strumpet!" he guessed, and his face turned all red. So the next time you use the word strumpet remember to thank. The guy who reintroduced this word to me - I call him Hank. It's a fun word for sure, and will get some attention. But don't use it if you are haughty with high needs of pretension.