Space Junk

Dirk was educated to a very high degree But there was no career for as far as the eye could see Finally he took a part time job just as a start And now he was Retriever of the wayward shopping cart He’d gather shopping carts in wind and rain and even snow He’d gather them from anywhere a wayward cart might go He’d find those carts on foggy days by peering through the mist But this was no job for a ‘Grade A’ rocket scientist He dreamt of flying missions into deepest, darkest space Each cart became a lunar scooter on which he would race A wiry skateboard that his intellect could focus on To earn some bucks to keep his lights and gas from being gone One day in a wicked storm a cart wheeled by itself And raced toward a car of someone with apparent wealth Dirk fought through the tempest to avert a sure collision And in the car, it’s owner made a very quick decision The passenger door opened and the driver yelled, “Get in, Your future life awaits you and today it will begin. We’ve made you gather shopping carts for this eternity For where you’re going you must comprehend humility.” Well, Dirk caught only some of that but still got in the car He slammed his door and said, “So tell me who the hell you are.” The man said, “I’m from NASA and we’re sending you to Mars, to visit project ‘Black’ where you’ll find houses, shops and bars.” Dirk said, “Have you got a hidden camera in your butt? You’ve gotta think that I’m an under educated nut.” The man said, “We have shaped you to be humble, calm and meek And now that you are ready we can give you what you seek.” Eventually Dirk accepted that it was for real Leaving shopping carts to fester didn’t dent his zeal It only took a pre-planned schedule of some twenty weeks To find him in a Perspex dome between two martian peaks And gazing through the glazing of that perfect airtight dome Dirk just thanked his lucky stars that he was right at home He’d spent so many years enduring lecturers explaining And then a voice behind him said, “It’s time to use your training. “Would you like to take a Martian walk outside this dome? There aren’t that many here who ever truly get to roam.” Dirk just grinned a wily grin, “You must know my ambition, You know damned well that I would never turn down such a mission.” Dirk faced his commander, who said, “I’m so glad you’re loyal, There’s things that happen that we can’t explain on martian soil. There aren’t too many people with your skills around these parts, So get your space suit on and gather up those shopping carts.”