Sour Fantasy

Sour Fantasy…

I saw you there passing by.
   Walking graceful, kind of shy.
Body gorgeous angel face,
   Hair was so long, dim the sky.
Breasts like lemons marble legs,
   Rosy lips with tender thigh.
Looked at me with eyes so blue,
   Blue like ocean, my my my.
Words failed me to make a sound,
   I called you with yearning sigh.
I was silent, you disgust,
   You ignored me, I asked why.
You told me that I am mad,
   All I have to do is, try.
I am old or maybe drunk,
   I can at least dream to fly.
Let my fingers touch your skin,
   Kiss your valleys mountain high.
I am in love with my love,
   Even though, she thinks is, lie. 
Love that hurts will never pass,
   Cross my heart and hope to die.
Haloo, go to sleep, is late.
   She is gone, just say goodbye.

8/12/18 Haloo


Note: This poem is a short form in "ghazal" 7 syllables.  The rhyming in Ghazal ends with AA bA cA dA eA etc. It comes in two different forms with and without refrain. (Poetrysoup has a great explanation for this form of poetry).
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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12
Sietesantos Avatar
December 3, 2018 at 10:36 AM
What a sizzling, sensual ghazal, this is! The imagery is just simply awesome! Well done, Pashang! Love and hugs. Pandita
Salehi Avatar
December 3, 2018 at 10:42 AM
Thank you Pandita...
Raven Avatar
October 23, 2018 at 3:58 PM
Hi Pashang, a beautiful write my friend. You bring out such deep emotions in this sensual write. A wonderful Ghazal from your golden pen. I may try this form one day myself. An excellent write my friend with such strong images. Wonderful. have a wonderful Wednesday. Your friend always....Mike.
Salehi Avatar
October 25, 2018 at 1:46 AM
Thanks Mike for reading my works... You are a true friend.
Daniel Avatar
October 9, 2018 at 10:35 PM
A great ghazal, Pashang:)
Salehi Avatar
October 18, 2018 at 1:35 AM
Thanks Jo...
Duncan Avatar
September 27, 2018 at 3:47 PM
Nicely done. Thanks for coming to read my Injured Bird :)
Salehi Avatar
September 28, 2018 at 1:09 AM
You are welcome... Thank you...
Williams Avatar
September 27, 2018 at 6:10 AM
Sad that she didn't respond to you. Such is life Haloo. Best to just let her walk on by. Enjoyed your Ghazal, far too complicated for me though, but you excel in this....Maria hugs
Salehi Avatar
September 28, 2018 at 1:08 AM
My dear friend, you are too kind...
Mishra Avatar
September 23, 2018 at 3:33 AM
Nice one!!!
Salehi Avatar
September 24, 2018 at 1:59 AM
Thanks...
Rose  Avatar
September 14, 2018 at 5:09 PM
A deep sensual write that evokes memories of love and passion, Well written dear Pashang, thanks for sharing,
Salehi Avatar
September 22, 2018 at 8:05 PM
Thank you Pixie...
Sathasivam Avatar
September 13, 2018 at 1:17 AM
Excellent. Well penned. Enjoyed reading it.
Salehi Avatar
September 14, 2018 at 11:58 AM
Thank you Ravi for reading and commenting without any psychoanalysis... I'm glad that you liked my work. You are a great friend...
Pett Avatar
September 9, 2018 at 8:42 AM
Beautifully written Pashang, I really like to try different forms so you have definitely inspired me to try this and others, thoroughly enjoyed reading. :))
Salehi Avatar
September 10, 2018 at 2:24 AM
Great Idea... PS has a great explanation about Ghazal, I know it because I wrote it. I have a few Ghazals with and without refrain... Thank you for your kind words.
Allison Avatar
September 8, 2018 at 2:51 PM
Dropped by to read this gem again, would love to see one of your awesome artworks with this poem, I must try this form one day:-)... btw my hair is long but the eyes are green lol hugs Jan xx
Salehi Avatar
September 9, 2018 at 1:32 AM
LOL... You are so wonderful...
Palli Avatar
September 3, 2018 at 2:04 AM
Well done! Could feel the emotions.
Salehi Avatar
September 9, 2018 at 1:31 AM
Thank you my friend...
Kiser Avatar
September 2, 2018 at 11:09 PM
Incredibly penned, Ghazal. We all win some and lose others; you've depicted the picture here quite well. I like the way it unfolds.
Salehi Avatar
September 3, 2018 at 1:13 AM
Thank you very much for kind words... blessing...
Bateman Avatar
August 31, 2018 at 11:54 AM
Hello Pashang, An extraordinary write here my friend!! The words, images, and continuous tempo of your Ghazal are all perfectly orchestrated. Maybe I will try to write one of these some time. In the meantime, you are the master for sure of this format (and others too)!! A FAVE!! Cheers and Best, Gary
Salehi Avatar
September 3, 2018 at 1:12 AM
Thanks Gary, you are so kind... Please try it and let me know...
Manassian Avatar
August 27, 2018 at 4:41 AM
Delightful. One never knows if one doesn't take a chance. I enjoyed this piece. Thanks for your visit to my Be Silent Poem. I have been away for a time, but hope to be able to post soon.
Salehi Avatar
August 28, 2018 at 2:18 AM
Thank you, Eileen... Glad that you are fine... say hello to your wonderful Shireen...
Warrior Avatar
August 21, 2018 at 6:50 AM
Excellent write my friend...I'm gaga over ghaza lol...love & light...^WW^
Salehi Avatar
August 25, 2018 at 5:14 PM
Thank you WW...LOL
B. Avatar
August 21, 2018 at 5:50 AM
Absolutely love your ghaza, my friend.. Brilliantly penned!! So smooth and goes with the flow.. Wonderful job!!! Many Blessings!
Salehi Avatar
August 25, 2018 at 5:13 PM
Thank you dear...
Breidenthal Avatar
August 20, 2018 at 3:26 AM
Wonderfully written poem, a true masterpiece ~
Salehi Avatar
August 20, 2018 at 5:41 PM
Thanks, JW...
One Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 3:08 PM
Loved your version..
Salehi Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 4:07 PM
Thanks, Silent one, have you read any other version? Love to read that version.
Dutta Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 12:39 PM
Good Gazal. Good Rhyme. Good Form
Salehi Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 1:14 PM
Thank you my dear...
Smith Avatar
August 16, 2018 at 9:34 AM
Such an interesting form, well done my friend...
Salehi Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 3:35 AM
Thank you, Charlie... You are so kind.
Roper Avatar
August 15, 2018 at 3:22 PM
Pashang, great flow and I like the form, I do need to try it. Thank you so much for your visits.
Salehi Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 3:34 AM
Please do... Maybe I should sponsor a ghazal form... Thank you for your kind comment...
Murray Avatar
August 15, 2018 at 2:03 PM
Just a couple of corrections Pashang. My hair is short and my eyes are brown.
Salehi Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 3:33 AM
LOL... You know you are my girl... thanks Jean
Rose  Avatar
August 15, 2018 at 5:41 AM
(SMILE) it seems like a nice fantasy, not that sour after all. I enjoyed reading your creative poem today
Salehi Avatar
August 17, 2018 at 3:31 AM
LOL... thank you my dear...
Deo Avatar
August 14, 2018 at 1:29 PM
thanks for the lyric, the honesty, and vulnerability. True to life ... have quiver full of dream arrows. GOD luck; peace
Salehi Avatar
August 14, 2018 at 6:15 PM
Thank you for good wishes... always.
Dietrich Avatar
August 13, 2018 at 3:05 PM
well done, Pashang. The title for it is perfect!! Back to sleep with you. maybe to have a better dream this time.
Salehi Avatar
August 13, 2018 at 8:53 PM
LOL... I changed the title many times, this one stuck... Thank you, Andrea, I'll sleep tonight hope for a better dream...
12
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