Soup Creek Limericks-Updated
Another showdown in Soup Creek, I s'pose
Someone's got a wedgie in her pantyhose
It's another outcast
who likes to lambast
A bad attitude she chose to expose
Folks in the Creek asked why she was a crank.
What she has against those who hold top rank?
What is her sob story?
Maybe she seeks glory
From their faces, everyone drew a blank
The Gambler decided to take a stand
I heard he was holding a winning hand
A duel would take place
They'd meet, face to face
Shots to be fired at Sheriff Mark's command
Undertaker cried, "Why not fisticuffs?
There's no more plots on Cemetery Bluffs."
It was set for high noon
In front of the saloon
To put an end to the slanderous chuffs
Texas Ranger, Dave, set up a boxing ring
Gambler told her, "Your punches have no sting.
But take another poke.
Your insults are a joke.
Folks in these parts call you a ding-a-ling."
I heard him shout, "You throw first," then he spat
Without taking off his new Stetson hat.
The crowd cheered, "Take her down!"
Gambler Milt turned around
"I'd never hit a woman, and that's that."
Soup Creek folks hoped that would end the scandal
In each window burned a votive candle
The bartend bought a round
A new hero was crowned
There's no threat that this town cannot handle.
******** Jenna Logan
Nervous Nell started pulling out her hair
Seeking attention, she yelled, "I declare!
That Ranger pushed me down!"
Tex replied, "Hush, you clown!
You cause more trouble than a grizzly bear!"
********** David Kavanagh
She tried to shoot Sheriff Mark... Big Mistake!
He glared at her. Her hands started to shake
"You try that one more time,
I'll jail you for the crime.
And lock you in a cell with One Eyed Jake.
They snuck into town for a peek
The secret weapon of soup creek
Brute strength they did hear
Coming from Jans rear
Deadly fire rang out from each cheek
********** Mark Koplin
I heard a loud noise in the street
The crack of a gun on repeat
The smell was so acrid
Even the sheriff cried
It knocked Nervous Nell off her feet.
Then I saw Miss Jan showing her rear
As the mean old b*tch ran away in fear
No coffin was needed,
As the witch conceded
We went to the saloon for a beer.
******** Milt Hankins
*If anyone wishes to add a limerick(s), please soup mail it to me, pardner.
Copyright © Jenna Logan | Year Posted 2022
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