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Sometimes, It Hurts

I have let myself down
I made progress in this town
Then, I have lost it all
With this heart so emotional

I need some sort of outlet
To let go of my regret
I can’t hold on to this pain anymore
It’s getting me mighty sore

I’m going to move on…
I’m seeking help now
From dusk to dawn
I need remedy somehow

I’m sorry…if you can clearly see —
I’ve let myself down mostly
Honestly, I’m done, fighting this battle alone
I’ll be treading this road on my own

I won’t shed no tears
I will face my fears
I will walk hope’s halls
I will answer His calls

I’m going to seek help and heal eventually
I had to write it down in poetry to heal me
I need His remedy and His shine right now
I feel this want unfold inside me somehow

This cruel sorrow creates a storm inside me
See inside my sea of anxiety and pity
I am sick and tired of thinking suicidally…it’s a pain I can’t comprehend
I am in pain and I need a mend…I am screaming in silence for a mend

I was making so much progress these last months of sobriety
I was making so much happiness that should’ve lasted a lifetime unfortunately
But, I’m breaking down and rising up to meet my end, my end, my end
There’s hope beyond the bend…God, hopefully, you’ll help me with an embrace of serenity that you send

I regret everything now because of my foolish decision making 
It figures I go back to the mental hospital all over again and this darkness remains inside me
I’m tired of pretending everything’s alright when my heart is breaking
It injures me to see me suffer this long…I must say goodbye to this hardship I’m facing inevitably

Suffering and feeling tortured in this silent chamber of insanity…
It’s like I’m hanging by a single thread…
Instead, this dread inside me won’t free me from captivity…
It’s as if I’m less than human, nearly dead

I’m aching and breaking in solitude’s shame…mindlessly digging up depression and distress that I can’t quite express
I’m taking the blame for taking Your name in vain, Lord of Accord…I’m a captive bird, unheard of and so absurd
I’m becoming undone in my train of thought…that train that goes a thousand miles on tracks of horrid nothingness
I can’t afford to lose myself in my suffering stage of life…I’m looking backward when I should be looking forward…

Abused by the angst inside my mind
Kill the death that haunts me, feeling left behind in the dust of such wretched times
Despair and misery are my middle names that leave me blind
Be still, healing is near…have no fear…we all must break apart and rise above it all sometimes

Sometimes, it hurts
Sometimes, the ache inside burns
Sometimes, we shatter like glass 
Sometimes, we are oceans that churn
Sometimes, it hurts
Sometimes, we must break to mend once more
Sometimes, the fire within puts us out without a doubt
Sometimes, the desire in my every being vanishes forevermore
But, once the fires in our soul are gone,
It’s time to move on, it’s time to move on
Once the oceans churn and disappear,
There’s no time to shed a tear, shed a tear
Sometimes, it hurts
Then, the pain is gone
It comforts me to say this
From dusk to dawn,
I’ll be moving on
I’ll be moving on
I’ll be moving on

Remember me
Remember me…
Free and always will be
I will remain in God’s arms,
Free from fear, free from harm
There’s a remedy beyond the pain
There’s a rainbow after a disastrous rain
Sometimes, it hurts…hurts…hurts…
But, remember me…and God will set us free from our hurts…
That’s what comforts me 
In the long run
It comforts…comforts…comforts…
Me and you 
Before we welcome the sun

I’ve made progress by moving on
What about you? Are you looking forward to the dawn?
Hoping and praying that this hurt be gone
By clothing you with comforting remedy and a pocket full of sun —
That’s the outlet for all my regret to be gone and over with

I can’t hold on
I must let go
Sometimes, it hurts
Then, He comforts…
A relieving Tomorrow
For the sake of my sorrow

Sometimes, it hurts…I’m sorry to say
Then, He crowns us with happiness that’s  beyond Comforting today

Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2022

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