Sometimes, It Hurts

I have let myself down I made progress in this town Then, I have lost it all With this heart so emotional I need some sort of outlet To let go of my regret I can’t hold on to this pain anymore It’s getting me mighty sore I’m going to move on… I’m seeking help now From dusk to dawn I need remedy somehow I’m sorry…if you can clearly see — I’ve let myself down mostly Honestly, I’m done, fighting this battle alone I’ll be treading this road on my own I won’t shed no tears I will face my fears I will walk hope’s halls I will answer His calls I’m going to seek help and heal eventually I had to write it down in poetry to heal me I need His remedy and His shine right now I feel this want unfold inside me somehow This cruel sorrow creates a storm inside me See inside my sea of anxiety and pity I am sick and tired of thinking suicidally…it’s a pain I can’t comprehend I am in pain and I need a mend…I am screaming in silence for a mend I was making so much progress these last months of sobriety I was making so much happiness that should’ve lasted a lifetime unfortunately But, I’m breaking down and rising up to meet my end, my end, my end There’s hope beyond the bend…God, hopefully, you’ll help me with an embrace of serenity that you send I regret everything now because of my foolish decision making It figures I go back to the mental hospital all over again and this darkness remains inside me I’m tired of pretending everything’s alright when my heart is breaking It injures me to see me suffer this long…I must say goodbye to this hardship I’m facing inevitably Suffering and feeling tortured in this silent chamber of insanity… It’s like I’m hanging by a single thread… Instead, this dread inside me won’t free me from captivity… It’s as if I’m less than human, nearly dead I’m aching and breaking in solitude’s shame…mindlessly digging up depression and distress that I can’t quite express I’m taking the blame for taking Your name in vain, Lord of Accord…I’m a captive bird, unheard of and so absurd I’m becoming undone in my train of thought…that train that goes a thousand miles on tracks of horrid nothingness I can’t afford to lose myself in my suffering stage of life…I’m looking backward when I should be looking forward… Abused by the angst inside my mind Kill the death that haunts me, feeling left behind in the dust of such wretched times Despair and misery are my middle names that leave me blind Be still, healing is near…have no fear…we all must break apart and rise above it all sometimes Sometimes, it hurts Sometimes, the ache inside burns Sometimes, we shatter like glass Sometimes, we are oceans that churn Sometimes, it hurts Sometimes, we must break to mend once more Sometimes, the fire within puts us out without a doubt Sometimes, the desire in my every being vanishes forevermore But, once the fires in our soul are gone, It’s time to move on, it’s time to move on Once the oceans churn and disappear, There’s no time to shed a tear, shed a tear Sometimes, it hurts Then, the pain is gone It comforts me to say this From dusk to dawn, I’ll be moving on I’ll be moving on I’ll be moving on Remember me Remember me… Free and always will be I will remain in God’s arms, Free from fear, free from harm There’s a remedy beyond the pain There’s a rainbow after a disastrous rain Sometimes, it hurts…hurts…hurts… But, remember me…and God will set us free from our hurts… That’s what comforts me In the long run It comforts…comforts…comforts… Me and you Before we welcome the sun I’ve made progress by moving on What about you? Are you looking forward to the dawn? Hoping and praying that this hurt be gone By clothing you with comforting remedy and a pocket full of sun — That’s the outlet for all my regret to be gone and over with I can’t hold on I must let go Sometimes, it hurts Then, He comforts… A relieving Tomorrow For the sake of my sorrow Sometimes, it hurts…I’m sorry to say Then, He crowns us with happiness that’s beyond Comforting today