Sometimes

sometimes when i'm thirty years old and not in school
i can play games
and not feel pain

sometimes when people call my name
i don't know what they're talking about

sometimes when i'm on a stage
in front of seventy thousand people
i laugh and make a face
and my nose starts bleeding
and i fall to my knees
and the audience is silent
and there are never sirens

sometimes when my hair is short
approximately one inch long
i cut it again within the same hour
and clip my nails until they're gone
and pluck my eyebrows
one 
       by 
            one
i promise i did not shave them off
...it's true
and then i come out of the bathroom
and everyone has gone to bed

sometimes my eyes are two different colors
and only i can see it
unless i ask
and they say they see it too, to make me feel better

sometimes
when i am an egg in a uterus
i emit poison
but it never does anything
my mom just tells stories that she felt me kick a few times
oh, she's sure of it
and then she smiles as her teeth erode
and the people genuinely laugh, that nice fake genuine laugh

mental illnessfree verse

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