Something Inside of Me

there is something inside of me i can’t figure out if it’s a ‘who’ or a ‘what’ if it were a ‘who’ i would imagine it to be very pretty maybe it would be the sparkling blue color that it stole from my eyes it would probably smile a lot because i think it took that from me, too or maybe it would be that soft purple color that you see in the sunset every now and then i don’t watch those anymore. also i think they would sing my favorite songs, the happy ones with a lot of drumming the ‘who’ would hold the thoughts that i once possessed the spontaneous ones of road trips across the country or the tattoos of flowers i used to long for but i’m not sure the ‘what’ is quite this nice i think it’s more simple it’d be big and dark not black though, i think it would be a deep red that holds emotions a color that makes you think but that’s all it would be. nothing more and nothing less just something that makes you question everything you’ve ever known. it’s nice to think that someday it will go away i’ll face it and kick it out and instead of monsters, hydrangeas will lace themselves onto my lungs my heart will beat because it wants to, not because it has to and i will fill myself with only nice things m.r.