Something Inside of Me
there is something inside of me
i can’t figure out if it’s a ‘who’ or a ‘what’
if it were a ‘who’ i would imagine it to be very pretty
maybe it would be the sparkling blue color that it stole from my eyes
it would probably smile a lot because i think it took that from me, too
or maybe it would be that soft purple color that you see in the sunset every now and then
i don’t watch those anymore.
also i think they would sing my favorite songs, the happy ones with a lot of drumming
the ‘who’ would hold the thoughts that i once possessed
the spontaneous ones of road trips across the country or the tattoos of flowers i used to long for
but i’m not sure the ‘what’ is quite this nice
i think it’s more simple
it’d be big and dark
not black though, i think it would be a deep red that holds emotions
a color that makes you think
but that’s all it would be. nothing more and nothing less
just something that makes you question everything you’ve ever known.
it’s nice to think that someday it will go away
i’ll face it and kick it out
and instead of monsters, hydrangeas will lace themselves onto my lungs
my heart will beat because it wants to, not because it has to
and i will fill myself with only nice things
m.r.
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