Clare Maceda Poet Free verse

Some People Are Satanists

I am no longer worthy of his time
When I told him I was sad he said he didn’t believe me. 
When I told him that I loved him he said he didn’t believe me. 
For the latter he was right 
I don’t like that he could be right
I am lost but not because I lost him
Because I can’t exactly remember what it was like to believe someone
when they extended friendship or affection.
I had a dream last week or last month
and he was there but when he turned around 
he was someone else.
That confused me.
I think about how I was never really told
that I was beautiful
even though I always thought everyone was beautiful.
I want to know what drew me to the devil.
My actions are the voice of my subconscious
so there must be something wrong with me. 
I think about slashing three of his tires 
since you only get insurance for all four.

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