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Solitary Confinement 1

SOLITARY CONFINEMENT 1 : Number Four


Many chains, many locks and bars
clattered at four in the morning 
black bitter coffee drugged
a single bucket of cold water 
            it was winter

I had ten minutes to speak 
with a small piece of soap 
then bucket and soap was ripped away
whether I was still
           naked or not

a thought of throwing the
        water over my head 
tangled with a thought 
           of throwing it at the cell door 

a tangle like a tango
                          unlike my taut steel
                                                nerves 

I counted my toes over
and over again, then its hairs
to stop reading prison graffiti 
               on the cold grey wall

they were my loyal friends
I couldn’t think of names
                        for them
                           except “Hello Toes”

A warden brought me a 
                           wooden coloured cube 
hidden in his dirty hankychief 
as a gift 
               to play with
                          heedlessly grateful 
                                            was I 
 
At four the next morning 
Station Commander 
confiscated it

            seemed to like that hour

I remembered that Ouma Lama
said : “Four is when the ghosts leave”

In my prison cell, this was when
they arrived 
  

~~~

Four a.m was my birth hour too
                    on the fourth day of middle month
            I guessed four pillars to hold an 
ever-crumbling roof

the roof of my mind

             Casspirs circled this hour to 
                circumference my home for a pick-up
At the calculated dark time neighbours rose
                           sensed war as a moon waned
                                   peered at rifles through 
                                          half drawn curtains


Four Casspirs, eight police-vans
          too many soldiers to count
          surely a multiple of four
for a forty-two kg body
                    a hilarious drama of fear
     
 
How did mind know it was 
four in a house with no clock ? 
It did not ! 
       Gut knew the precise hour
the hour I started breathing outside the womb
  

~~~~


Smiley wily warden wrapped my 
one daily meal in newspaper 
winking “something to read…”

I read the four sheets over 
and over again
                     marriage and death notices
Memorising dates and names on the oil 
stained paper


At four the next morning
Mr Station Commander burnt the
newspaper pieces at my
                        numberless cell door 
                              number should have been 
                     four, yes, you guessed
since the station had four cells
                     
only one boasted a body, my pipsqueak one with 
four intact limbs

their threat to crack my bones
                       could not succeed
I was too connected to external pylons
and what with standing for 24hrs at a stretch 
                  in the interrogation room
my bone calcium strengthened 

               
                Commander and door both 
           relished a smell of fire at that hour
        curling smoke was breakfast
 
I saw marriages and corpses go
up in momentary flames
        shed tears for the individuals involved


it was my marriage and my corpse
                              time of no sequence 


small dried leaves found their way 
                 into the cell
A mystery of How ?
   no teeny slits anywhere 
or any slit of sunshine to sail on

 
Winter leaves wanted to
shelter
           lice
               crawling on a dark grey blanket
               over the plastic floor mattress I 
tried to sleep on


or perhaps leaves wanted me 
to make music
crushing their veins with my veins


a floor never swept or wept 
the smell of …. dead mice
 
 
the day of a little fire at the door
I ended up screaming at a 
minuscule wall grate 
                    near the ceiling
“Bring me a fresh daisy or a mirror !” 


It brought me
                  the next darkened police vehicle 
                                               to Caledon Square
for another session 
of 24 hr questions 

Unanswered



©GhairoDanielsPoetry1981

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 2/5/2023 9:05:00 PM
WOW Ghairo what an interesting ,powerful captivating write! Sounds awful ….l hope its fiction and not what you have actually experienced. Enjoyed….Debx
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Ghairo Daniels
Date: 2/7/2023 8:33:00 AM
ThkU so much. I posted it because I wondered if anybody would like it. Yes, I was a political prisoner. That was a long time ago. I can look back & see all that it taught me. Xx

Book: Reflection on the Important Things