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Solid Stone

You aren't worth killing myself over
No matter how much has fallen upon me
No matter how much the days ahead will bring me down
No matter how much my own body tries to waste itself

I'm not gonna let you decide my fate

I'm not gonna let the absolute abuse kill me
The gaslighting you put me through
The insults followed by praise
The opportunities I wasted by being at your beck and call

You aren't worth my life

Whatever's left of it anyway
As cysts reappear after a year of bloody warning
As the depression continues to set in harder than ever
As I refuse to be medicated because of the games you played

You're the worst kind of parasite

Bleeding everyone you know dry
Flashing a smile and getting your way
You never intended to grow
Just as long as you could keep drinking everyone's life

Now before me is solid stone

For everything I gave
Has turned to rock beneath my grasp
Stone chairs, stone pencils, stone beds
And for now, I'm too weak to raise a chisel

And even now I crave your touch

Take me in your arms and let this be a dream
Pull the strings and make me dance again
Flash that smile, laugh that laugh
And throw everyone away when you're done

And I'm gonna let you drag me down

Like I always know I do
Clutching, ripping at my heart
Screaming for another start
Begging for release from all my pain

You wouldn't care either way

You said it yourself that day
And in becoming just a bag of meat
All I accomplish is destroying all I love
For the sake of the parasite who tried to do the same

It doesn't matter either way

To be polite, I wished the best
And you walked off either way
Now who's the bigger man
As my tears type these words

So I'll bleed just fine alone

Sure, there's no one else around
But I'd rather be alone than deal with your abuse
From solid stone we were born
And from solid stone we've been dashed apart

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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