Sobering Truth
Painful memories I wish I could forget but I'm soldering through
Scars still bleeding from traumatic experiences I had to go through
Nightmares and flashbacks of things from my childhood I was exposed to
This isn't a poem, this is a man talking about his mental health with the sobering truth
My pain started from a very young age
My cries for food and drink going unnoticed due to my parents drunk rage
Taken into foster care because of my families unloving ways
That may sound unfair, but I was a baby and too young to take care of myself during their drunken states
When I was 10 I saw an older kid of 15 at school open his wrist with scissors
Ice-cream and playing football after school couldn't erase the image of that picture
Fast forward, it was four years later that I started self-harming just to cope with stress
Long sleeves on hot summer days, I
wouldn't expose my mess
Hiding scars from the world that I gave to myself
A few months later a teacher noticed and I felt like I was being judged without any lawyers
Had to find a way to kill my suicidal thoughts and leave blood on my paranoia
8 years free from Self-harm now, but it wasn't easy to escape that hell
5 days before I turned 15 my sperm donor died
People thought I was hiding emotions, but I was numb inside
I felt a relief because now he had a genuine reason to not be around for me
There's still some childhood experiences that my pen isn't ready to write
I lost a lot of great girls due to the love I was unable to give
My love and emotions were buried in the water underneath the bridge
I always had more respect for those who didn't pretend and said they never cared to hear it
I've always held more resentment for people who pretended to care just to share my secrets
Painful memories I wish I could forget but I'm soldering through
Scars still bleeding from traumatic experiences I had to go through
Nightmares and flashbacks of things from my childhood I was exposed to
This wasn't a poem, this was a man talking about his childhood pain with the sobering truth
Copyright © Alex Duffy | Year Posted 2021
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