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Soaked

As far as I can see This wet was meant to be like the dew on flowers like the ocean for fish like river for crawfish I feel so good and free I get so wet, so wet from head to toe I know I tremble and quivver I linger and linger under the fountain stay soaking up this freshness feeling out of control enjoying the cold heat Every drop, every beat My imagination of love spread out like sea you and me together this love was meant to be

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Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 10/19/2012 7:49:00 AM

Thanking you today for your comments on my writing Treisha. I hope you have a very pleasant weekend and I wish to see more of your work next week so please write some and share. Love, Carol XXXX

Joy Wellington

Date: 10/13/2012 6:46:00 PM

A beautiful cherished memory and sweet imaginations...love this, especially the last two verse, filled with images of a poet's mind at work. Sweet write! One love. Joy Wells

Rachel St.Cross

Date: 10/13/2012 5:02:00 PM

‡ Returning Because I Could Not Remove This Beautiful Moment From My Mind, Sweet Beautiful Treisha. I Am Going To Favour Its, Perfect Splendour. Love, Rachel ‡

Treisha Williams
Date: 10/13/2012 5:03:00 PM

but then mark, he's not really there.......lol....

Mark Mcallister

Date: 10/13/2012 4:56:00 PM

the more i read this the more i like it

Treisha Williams
Date: 10/13/2012 5:02:00 PM

thank you mark gonna see how much i can work out that verse u r talking about. thank u rachel

Rachel St.Cross

Date: 10/13/2012 4:55:00 PM

‡ Wow, Such A Beautiful Image, Beautiful Treisha. Tis More Fragrant To One's Senses Than The Softness, Of A Beautiful Woman. Mesmerizing And Don't Forget To Dry Off, Haha, I Know I Won't. "Beautiful." Love, Rachel ‡

Mark Mcallister

Date: 10/13/2012 4:54:00 PM

Toaist stuff like wetness/cold/sea throughout the poem and bending the male characteristic of heat by coupling it as in cold heat. In the western tradition the tension between Apollo and Dionysian influences is heightened when you admit/celebrate to being out of control. Could a verse be worked in that would make that tension manifest. Also at the end you bring dualism male/female to a single point with "you and me together", but i assume much as you never name your object as male.

Mark Mcallister

Date: 10/13/2012 4:38:00 PM

I do not usually like this kind of stuff, but this i like, especially the first 2 verses. thanks Mark

Treisha Williams
Date: 10/13/2012 4:45:00 PM

thank you mark. this poem is actually a woman treasuring her deceased husband in her mind? hope u got it