So This Is How It Feels To Be Free

I really wish I were free from the clutches
You have put over me
You’ve got me bruised and choked and hurt
And covered my eyes so I can’t see.
I cannot show my abuse 
Or my longing for my freedom 
I wish I were sometimes all alone
Marching to the bat of my own drum.
I yearn for my times away from you
When I am out of your reach
Only then can I begin to relax
And breathe a sigh of relief.
I come home and go out to see you
And you always act so sweet
Then you turn when we’re alone
Into some sort of vicious beast.
You throw me up against the wall
And bang my head into the bricks
But I still come back to you every night
Because I’m brainwashed by your tricks.
You beat my arms and pull my hair
Leaving bruises no one can see
It makes me believe you aren’t in love
And that you only want to hurt me.
I can’t physically leave you
Because I am way too in love
But I do wish I weren’t being hurt
I want to instead be your treasure trove.
I’m trapped in a triangle
That I can’t even hope to leave
I stay and believe you’ll get better
For the old you,  I refuse to grieve.
But I decided it was too much
And slowly walked away
I pushed myself out of your grip
And quietly slipped away.
When you followed me later
Trying to force me in your car
I wised up and took off running
And home really wasn’t that far.
I saw you handcuffed and in the squad car
Being driven away from me
I walked away from your abuse forever
So this is how it feels to be free.

Copyright © Kristen Wilson | Year Posted 2006

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