Smile To Keep From Crying

I smile to keep from crying There's scars on my body, Pain in my heart I'm walking alone in the dark But I smile to keep from crying Growing up they told me i Cared too much Now they call me heartless and say i don't care enough I no longer Care at all, i'm scared of love Push away people because my parents never shared a hug Bipolar so sometimes I act up and unwillingly share my emotions Maybe if my parents didn't put me in care i wouldn't be so broken One night stands with girls and that's as Close we'll get I was once suicidal and even tried, so I don't fear people's threats I've got a few exes I miss, But I won't tell them Because they hope for a dream I'm unable to sell them 5 years free, and I hope my self-harm nightmare doesn't come back I believe I'm strong enough, but could people forgive me if I were to relapse? This is a question I ask myself daily People that say they care, haven't asked how I've felt lately I'm alone with my own thoughts Which have done more damage than any razor could, so I'm sorry if I fall short I smile to keep from crying There's scars on my body, Pain in my heart I'm walking alone in the dark But I smile to keep from crying