Slowly Dying

Searching to find something I can hold on to something that will free me from the ways of the world i'm used to something that will fix what is missing in me Something that will make everything better If i can reach it then i can say i've made it. If i can just grab it, then i'd be happy. If i can make whatever i've been looking for come into my life, then i'll end my pain and really start living. But i search for the unattanable I cant search for things to make me happy, Happiness needs to start inside and maybe that is why i am hurting. I am to flawed for myself to become happy.. I am not able to handle the weight of my own pain, so i wish for something else to prove to me my worth I am not willing to give myself to myself and for that i am lost Excuses.. Everyone in this world searches to find their meanings and their purpose. While i wallow in self pity, people are living their lives and doing their work. While I count my pains and explain my sins I lose sight of my joys and my blessings. If you don't love your life then your not living, your just slowly dying